Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 7 years ago

My Dad is getting married to a gold digger?

Hi, I'm a 20 year old girl and a junior at Northwestern University. About a year and a half ago my Mom was killed by a drunk driver when she was driving home late at night. 6 months after my Mom died, my Dad began dating another woman. I come from a fairly wealthy family and I feel like this woman is using my Dad just for his money. She trys to act like my Mom, which I can't stand. She makes remarks about how I'm "spoiled" and how I need to get over the fact that my Mom is dead. Recently, my Dad was suppose to visit me over the summer because I live in the family condo we have in downtown Chicago when I'm not in school. My Dad lives in Michigan, I thought it was suppose to be just him visiting, but he ended up bringing his girlfriend and her two kids that are 20 and 22. They expect me and her two kids to become good friends, but I am an only child and have no desire to have a relationship with them. On top of that, my Dad and his girlfriend told us that they are getting married. I can't stand the fact of going to their wedding. What should I do?

6 Answers

  • Hannah
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    You don't have to go the wedding - I wasn't going to go to my mother and fiance's wedding but they broke up the engagement.Tell your dad you have concerns and do something nice on the day...

  • .
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    Tell the truth. People can be blind when they are vulnerable. Maybe your dad feels overwhelmed with you (not that it's your fault) and wants a mom replacement. It does sound like she is controlling him, but he may want someone to do things for him. Ultimately all you can do is be honest. Nothing is worse than a bad stepmom. Sometimes parents are just so desperate to have an extra set of hands to help the family.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    You cant do anything your dad has his own mind he can choose the life he wants to have just continue to love your dad and support all of his decision if this is the thing that makes him happy then let him go.

  • Nicole
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    Of course your father deserves to be happy, and she may make him happy. Although, from the way you make it sound, I don't think it's right how she speaks to you. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with him. Try telling him something along the lines of "I know you love her, but I feel like she doesn't respect me, and I don't appreciate her speaking to me about my mother the way she does." The reality is that they're going to be together if they want to be whether you like it or not, but at least you can make him aware of how she treats you.

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  • First of all in truly sorry for ur loss honey. Second of all, as hard as it may seem, I'd give my dad an ultimatum. It may not seem fair to him, but he is expecting way too much of u right now, and he will see her true colors one day. God bless u in whatever u decide to do!

  • 7 years ago

    the word "gold digger" doesnt mean anything. Technically.. it doesnt even mean "a woman who marries a rich man". Most of the time.. society uses it to mean "gross.. an older man much younger woman couple". Any female who says she likes older men is going to be called a gold digger even if he is just a mailman. "gold digger" is a word older women invented for younger women who like older men to avoid calling them "girl toy lovers". this is to make older men think they arent lucky for not being with older women. The fact this woman has kids your age.. means she's older. How old is your dad in relation to her? Something tells me she is considerably younger than him right? If she was 20 years older than him.. you wouldnt call her a gold digger even if she was one. Society doesnt use that word for females who are much older than a rich guy.

    Anyways, labels dont mean ANYTHING.

    My mom married my dad when she was 24. She was called a gold digger by a HUGE list of people because my dad was well-to-do and much her senior.

    1) her mom

    2) her sisters (until my dads dying day)

    3) her jilted boyfriend

    4) her friends

    5) her cousins

    6) her aunts

    7) my dads two ex wives.

    8) my older half sisters did in the beginning but somehow my mom bonded with them. They love each other and have known each other more than 3 decades. my mom is closer to my oldest half sister than I am (and closer in age too). They run my dads business together (my mom being #1 in charge)

    9) my dads friends.

    Thats a long list of people who called her a gold digger. But in the end.. that was my dads most successful and reproductive marriage. That was a 3+ decade marriage until his passing. His other marriages had no staying power.

    The label didnt mean anything. In the end.. it just amounted to jealous people jealous that my dad had found true love at last and that my mom was now richer than her entire family tree combined many times over. Misery loves company and her sisters wanted my mom to be poor like they are.

    So they thought that if they called her a gold digger.. she would feel miserable and sad.

    Anyways my point is that just because you call someone a "Gold digger" doesnt mean that person isnt your dads TRUE soulmate. My mom wasnt a gold digger. My dad was. My mom is pure gold in the heart.

    Perhaps this woman in your dads life is his TRUE soulmate and has a heart of gold which makes your dad the gold digger.

    A gold digger.. is a man who loves a woman with a heart of gold.

    I think you are just afraid she is going to spend your inheritance and it is in fact YOU who is greedy. "my money. she is going to spend MY money".

    I can relate. My mom is engaged and I had that thought too "he is going to spend my inheritance" but my mom assured us "he is rich too. I will always protect the family assets. They belong to your dads children not this man. I promise that". That relaxed me. So it was easy for me to accept him.

    Perhaps you and your dad can have a talk about protecting his assets from the "new person".

    Wealthy men are not as dumb as society thinks. They actually are smarter than most men. MOST that i know.. got prenups. Your dad should do the same. Talk to him about getting a prenup (if allowed in your country)

    I have a feeling you will like her more if you think your assets are protected.

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