Should I stay with my husband?

Hi all.

I have a dilemma. My husband is a good man and has few faults, however I have issues and I feel we are bad for each other.

My parents divorced when I was 12. My dad had an affair with my mums sister when I was 6, I had to hear every little detail from a young age and as a result, I'm mistrusting and insecure. My dad is also autistic (my diagnosis) so I'll never have a good relationship with him.

I met my husband at 17. We got married when I was 25. He's quiet, doesn't speak about his feelings ever (he was the driver in a car accident and his friend died, he's never spoken about it to anyone). He never tells me if I do something right or wrong and I'm constantly guessing. The only time o find out anything is when he loses his temper and shouts it at me. I then can't help but cry and he apologises.

He's a poor listener. His friends and family are regularly horrible to me. He's says it's in my imagination until in the end, someone else notices too.

I decided I wanted a baby. Discussed it with him and he said that he might not be ready but ragreed.

He then wrote me a note 6 months later saying that he doesn't ever want kids but that I can leave him. He then wouldn't discuss it for four days and I cried all the time.

I decided to leave but worried he'd commit suicide or something so I send a brief email to him parents saying that they'd needed to speak to him (vague). He then rang me saying that we needed to sort things out, that he is depressed and that is influencing his decisions. I then tried to talk to him with little success. He changes tge subject

A few days after, I went to stay with my sister (pre planned holiday) had an amazing time and initially missed him but now I'm back and Id rather b away. I got back at 12am and he didn't even stay up tp see that I got in safe. He also barely text me when away (replied once for every two I sent)

If he hasnt rung to GP re depression then I'll be mad as he isn't working on our problems.

Any advice?

5 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Much of what you say reminds me of my brother when he was suffering from severe depression. And I mean severe. First & foremost I would have him, and yourself, see a professional mental health specialist. I only mention you seeing one as well is because sometimes we see our faults in the actions of others and it's better safe than sorry. If he won't go to one, find one that will come to the house. If everything checks out then work on the relationship. I can tell you care about him greatly because you're asking strangers for advice and this stranger's advice is find him some help soon. I wish you all the best.

  • 7 years ago

    sounds like he has communication issues, he doesn't like confrontation and people having a go at him. You need to tell him nicely to open up to you since its his right.

    What to do? if you still love him stay with him, if nothing else is left then i think you know what to do

  • 7 years ago

    from what you have said, it sounds like you guys need therapy, for couples and one on one. it's not an insult. it's something you both need. but getting him to agree. but even if he don't, you should seek it out. you sound awesome to me. very caring and loving. I wish you guys the best.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    You must convience your husband your husband politely .Then also if he does not do then you must make your heart strong and do not cry.You must live happily together.

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  • 7 years ago

    just expand your patience. talk to psychiatrist about it.

    Source(s): my opinion
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