Girlfriend and friend help?
So I got upset with my girlfriend. I avoid telling her anything because I don't wanna hurt her and make things worse. So one night I just blew up cause I was really irritable and I said that I felt lthat sometimes she's controlling and I can't express my feelings (because of my fear of hurting her) and she broke up with me, saying we were both unhappy in the relationship.
A couple of hours later, we talked and we decided we could work things out. I'm trying to change things so we can both be happier because we really care for each other, its been a 2 year relationship.
The next day she showed me a text our friend sent her because it was upsetting her. He basically said that she's given me too many chances and that I'm taking advantage of her and that she deserves so much better. That really hurt because I really care about her and I love her, I would never mean to hurt her-yet he still thinks so lowly of me. He hasn't talked to me at all ever since we got back together, he won't even acknowledge me.
Is there any reason he's acting this way? He's admitted that he used to like her, but my girlfriend isn't sure if he's gotten over her. Is he jealous? Its really bothering me because I saw him as a brother and now he's just not talking to me-I feel like he even hates me.
- Anonymous7 years ago
He may have romantic feelings toward her, or he may be concerned as a friend. Either way, the course of action you must take remains the same. In any relationship, competition is an ever present possibility. It would be very easy for someone in your position to let jealousy take control. This is the wrong way to handle things. If you get angry, you will lose sight of what is important. You have to be the best boyfriend you can be right now. Previously, you made the mistake many young people make. You withheld your true feelings because you didn't want to hurt the girl you care about. By doing this, you allowed the things that bothered you to build until you hit your breaking point. Generally speaking, you cause more damage by keeping everything to yourself. Hurtful words are often said when you finally reach said breaking point. If you face the issues when they arise, they are much easier to deal with, even if she is upset when you initially present your concerns. You may often hear people say that relationships are about compromise. That is accurate. If you two care about the relationship, you should both be willing to improve for the other. Never try to change who you truly are, but you can change habits that are destructive to the relationship. Keeping an open line of communication works both ways. You have to listen when she has an issue. This next bit of advice may be harder to think about, but it is no less important. You have to know when to quit. If you keep trying to hold on to a relationship that should not be, you will drift further and further from happiness, and you will be forcing her to do the same. I learned that the hard way. I was in a six year relationship that was over after three. I tried to keep things together, but it would not improve. In the end, we were both hurt so much worse than we would have been if I had let it run it's course. It wasn't worth it.
As for your friend, if he is just trying to be a good friend to her, he will be back in your life when he sees that things are better. If jealousy is the issue, there isn't much you can do right now. Maybe you can have a talk with him to explain that you value his friendship, but there is a possibility of that turning bad. If you let things go but remain civil, he may come back around once he sees that you aren't going anywhere. Regardless of that situation, I hope things go well with you and your girl.Source(s): Plenty of personal experience
- 7 years ago
Well since he only heard her side of the story, he doesn't know what is fully going on. There is a strong possibility he could be jealous, if he is still not over her. On the other hand, he might also just be trying to look out for her.
Word of advice: you HAVE to communicate. It is better to express your feelings so that she can know what she needs to change, because you're only going to resent her if you keep it all bottled up. It may hurt her feelings initially, but it will save you both a lot of heartache in the long run. One of the biggest reasons relationships end is lack of communication. If you communicate about problems, you can fix them. If you don't communicate, she won't know what she does that bothers you, and she will continue to do it until it drives you crazy.
- 7 years ago
He's not going to acknowledge you because he's going behind your back trying to steal your girl. Your girl isn't helping matters by telling him your relationship problems. Everyone fights in a relationship. It can make you stronger or tear you apart. It depends how much your willing to work at it. But your girlfriend telling this other guy your business needs to stop or your just wasting your time. It's seems maybe she's not taking it very seriously if a third party is running things.
- Anonymous7 years ago
It's completely obvious he still likes her and when he said "you deserve so much better" he most likely meant himself