Is he just hurt or was it all an act?

Last night I saw my ex. I visited him at his place. He didn't let me inside, we spoke at the door.

We broke up 9 days ago. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted (a future). He said due to his lack of career direction (he's a barista/coffee maker), religious confusion (he's a Jehovahs Witness) and other things - he is in a bad place. He needs to love and like himself first - and right now he said he doesn't like himself. He doesn't know what he's doing or who he is.

He felt bad because he started giving me info on JW, but wasn't even 100% if he wanted to follow it himself anymore. With his dad as an elder, he seemed really confused and angry.

I told him i could be there for him while he figured it out, but he said that would make him feel bad, having me 'waiting' to see what he decided. He said he loved me so much and wants to be with me, but if we carried on i may end up more hurt later.

I got upset and cried and felt sad for a week, and then i realised it just wasn't meant to be. So i accepted it and moved on.

I'd hardly heard from him, so, considering he moved to this city to be near me (at his choice), i checked in on him. He doesnt know many people here so felt like the right thing to do.

He was cold, grumpy and said he wanted space. He said what did i expect, that he would hug me and pretend it was all okay?

I dont get it - he wanted to bail? I made peace with it. Now he's acting like a victim? All i was doing, was checking in on him.

I left feeling hurt at how cold he was - like he never knew me or didnt WANT to know me.

I told him that if he said he didnt love me, i wouldnt bother him again. Becuase when we broke up, I said 'so you dont love me? and he cried and said 'no i do i do! i love you so much! but i cant do this to you!'.

Finally he texted me this morning saying 'i dont love you'.

My Q: Why the f*ck did he say he loved me in the first place, move to my city, act so intense about me, do things for me etc only to pull away and then retract it all? Whats the point? Was it all an act? If so - AMAZING acting! Or is he just hurt? i don't get this..

1 Answer

  • 7 years ago

    Maybe he does love you, but he doesn't want to hold you back. I think he's a confused and hard time in life and he doesn't want you to stay there with him because if he decides you're not for him then you will hate him for wasting his time. I think he may be angry for letting you go and for you not fighting for him. I guess he wanted you to be happy, but was angry you didn't fight

    Or he is just playing with your mind /:

    Help me?;_ylt=AqXtt...

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