Will I ever get over my husbands affair?
My husband and I have been married 7 years. 4 mo. Ago, he admitted to me he had sex with his 8 yr. Old sons mother when picking his son up 3 years ago! He admitted to me that thru our entire relationship she has pursued him. Like answering the door naked when he would go to pick up their son. At times she actually begged him to sleep with her. Nothing was wrong with "us". He has cried saying he doesn't know why he broke down. That she got him at a weak moment. I truly don't believe it was only once- though he swears it was. I really don't feel like I can move past this. Is there anyone who has gone thru the same experience and can help? And for what it's worth, she was basically "a booty call" that got pregnant. He has always maintained he never loved her.
- juliaLv 67 years agoFavorite Answer
It depends on what you can tolerate/handle. If you feel there will always be a little voice in the back of your head telling you that you made a mistake by choosing him, then maybe it's time to close the door on this relationship. Cheating is never easy for either person; but in the end, if he really loved you and cherished you, he wouldn't have even CONSIDERED sleeping with her - EVEN IF she answered the door naked every single time. Yes, maybe she got him at a weak moment. But how many more weak moments might he have during your relationship with him? And you're right; it probably was more than once. And just because he's crying and feeling bad about it now, doesn't mean he won't do it again in the future when things are getting boring or he's feeling stifled.
And the fact that he doesn't love her, and that she's just a booty call is even worse. It means that he only slept with her for physical pleasure.
I'm not saying that you should definitely leave him. You should gauge your own feelings about it; if there's always going to be a little part of you that's torn up inside and angry, then it's best to move on. I know it sounds cliche, but most men who cheat will always be "cheaters", in the sense that they will always have that potential to cheat inside them. Do you want to go the rest of your life wondering if he'll cheat again?
- JohnLv 57 years ago
I think he's still sleeping with her,thats why he said something just incase it was ever brought up again he can say i told you about that didn't I, run him off he's no good to you anymore once they cheat they always cheat he slep with her once he''ll do her again if he hasn't already, most ex's move on she hasn't she still hanging in there for his **** and we both know it now do what best for you no trust no marriage thats how i see it iam not you but i would leave in a heart beat
- Fran UK ManLv 77 years ago
Men always say 'the woman chased me'. Women can get sex anywhere - and usually they do - so she didn't need it from your husband. He wanted it as much as she did - if not more. If you have one or two doubts about leaving, give it a trial separation and see how you feel, but don't get bullied into going back. If you want to go back, fine, but when you are ready. Personally, I couldn't go back: I would be forever thinking of what she did to him and what he did to her in bed.
- Rosey55 DLv 57 years ago
You 2 might try therapy and see if that helps. My husband and I separated because of his cheating and I dont think that I can go back to him. I will not be able to trust him but thats my case. Good luck in whatever you choose
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- Anonymous7 years ago
It is a fault of emotions and age but you should advice your husband to get out of this things.