Is it wrong to flirt with others online while trying to repair a relationship?

My bf of 4 years and I were on a month-long break. During this time, we would talk and discuss what changes to make in our relationship and had plans of getting back together. The other day I found out that he was chatting and flirting with another girl online but this happened 2 weeks before we got back together. What really bothers me is that the whole month we were on break, he always said that he never stopped loving me, then why would he do this? And do I have the right to feel anger and resentment towards him? I also asked him if he slept with anyone else during our break and he gave me a weak "no" and looked away.

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

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    Your friend may have made a mistake in the beginning by revealing too much too soon.  It's okay to tease and innocently flirt but you want to make him wait a while before you show him all the "goods."  You want him to let his imagination run wild about the "goods" so that the mystery and suspense builds up.  It's all about the chase for men and you gotta keep him guessing and somewhat confused about all the parts of you to keep him interested including what your body looks like.  9 out of ten men would rather look at a Victoria Secret magazine than a Playboy, Hustler, or other pornography mag cause it leaves something to the imagination.  You can dress provocatively sexy and show some skin but you want to keep the good stuff covered.  I think he may have the wrong idea about your friend and what she really wanted out of this relationship.  Should've started out with getting to know each other's interests and such first and just throw in a little teasing or flirting every now and then but not totally commit.  Men DO think about sex, statistically on average, every 4.4 seconds and operate on a more visual and physical level than women do.  A lot of women, especially younger women, make the mistake of assuming the way to keep a man and develop the relationship with him into long term is to sleep with him or let him see you naked early.  That's not true and actually if you wait til you get to know each other better and give him a chance to develop and sort out his feelings about you and what he wants out of the relationship you will slowly gain respect from him and something more long term.  Give his mind and heart a chance to catch up with his penis.  Plus you may find out something about him that would've made you regret being sexual with him in the first place if you had given it up too soon or might find that you really don't want this guy for long term after all.  It may prevent you from doing something you'll regret later and if it does end prematurely you won't be so attached and get hurt so badly.  Too often women think of sex as a form of affection and emotional connecting more than men do.  Most men don't see it that way.  At least not until much later in the relationship when he really does care for her. Lust can be blinding and she needs to beware of that.  My suggestion to her is to try to limit her conversation about sex or cut it out completely if need be for a while.  Tell him her webcam isn't working right and is in the shop for repair or something.  Try changing the subject if he tries to talk about sex.  And don't let her be fooled into having cyber or phone sex.  Then see just how much she has in common with him and what he has to talk about when sex isn't involved.  If he starts to contact her less or stops completely then she'll know that's all he was interested in.  Don't just tell him you're putting a hold on the sex talk and actions.  Just do it and observe his actions.  Don't bug him about what he wants from the relationship either and just let it flow.  The answer will soon be revealed to her.  She needs to quit diving into relationships head first.  You get hurt too easily that way.  Enjoy the lust that is so exciting at the beginning of relationships but keep a limit on it to give a chance for REAL feelings to develop.

  • james
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    Break up. It already failed so why bother. You sound like a beeeatch. He wasn't even with you then. You're starting over with a fight? I would have kicked you to the curb a long time ago hun.

  • 7 years ago

    Wrong, maybe...maybe not. But it's akin to trying to lose weight by working out, but also eating tons of sweets. Some of your efforts in one regard or another will be counter-productive.

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  • 7 years ago

    It's definitely wrong, and he's definitely hiding something.

    See if you can get to the bottom of the situation, do some digging.

  • 7 years ago

    trust is crucial in a relationship, without it there is no relationship. Talk to eachother, be honest.

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