Husband won't stop playing video games?
what do you do when all your husband wants to do is play video games. we have married almost 5 years now, two young kids. our marriage has been struggling lately. i really want to make this work. but he is always on his computer/video games and gets mad when i interrupt him. how do i make this relationship work when he won't get off his games enough to talk to me or hang out.
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
He's using video games to HIDE in his fantasy world; to run away from his problems. It's just that simple. Or else he simply IS as selfish as he sounds and he simply doesn't care about you.
Your husband may have depression or anxiety issues. He may be overly stressed at work. He obviously feels very intimidated by his marriage problems. He may have the subconscious belief than nothing he does is good enough to please you (a self-fulfilling prophesy.)
You should tell him honestly (not accusingly) that you think he's afraid and he's trying to run away from his problems. Ask him how he feels about his job and how he feels about your relationship. Don't accuse him, don't judge him. Don't argue. Be understanding and be supportive, even if he complains about some of the things you are doing.
Try to get him to agree to see a couple's counselor.
If that doesn't work and he wont talk honestly about his problems, and just gets defensive and angry......
Then leave and take the kids with you. (EDIT: I agree with the previous poster who said that playing video games is the same as simply not being home at all.)
Tell him you'll gladly come back home when the games are gone completely. Tell him there are plenty of guys out there who would love to spend time with you. You will not waste both of your time competing for his attention. If he likes video game more than he likes being married, he should do what makes him the happiest. He can't have both.
- Anonymous7 years ago
1) Men escape to video games to relieve stress and to escape stress. If he works then he needs to wind down and this may be how he does it (which is not a good way IMO). If you stress him out then he is doing it to avoid you and the responsibilities of caring for his kids. No matter what you look at it though, video games are addicting and it can be used just like alcohol. So if this were the problem, you have to solve his stress.
2) YOU can't make the marriage work. It takes two to tango and he isn't doing his share. You can't MAKE him care either. All you can do is do things without him and isolate him to his gaming. Sure, you will be neglected and not have the bond you want, but you do not have any authority over him. And from the sounds of things, he doesn't have authority over himself either.
3) If it is REALLY bad, and if listening to your concerns sounds like nagging, tell him that you want to go to a couple's counselor and that if he doesn't go (refuses to) then you are ending the marriage and want a divorce. The couple's counselor will help you two deal with your problems and hopefully help him mature and assume his role as father.
- ReneLv 44 years ago
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<-----Gamer. I can't speak for your husband, but I can speak for myself. A gamer is always going to be a gamer. I started on Dungeons & Dragons and now I play online roleplaying games. My gaming has never affected my personal relationships but I've heard and witnessed many cases where it does. It seems to me that he's no longer using games as entertainment. It's a safe bet he using them as an escape from reality and from the pain of your child's death. The best thing you can do is calmly tell him how you feel and try to get him to talk to you. Don't take that horrid advice and smash his gear in the street coz he won't talk to you for weeks if you do that. Something else you may want to consider is taking a little escape of your own. I think you could use it. Have him teach you and play with him. I've known many couples where one was a gamer and the other wasn't, only to be converted into a gamer. This brought a load of fun that was absent from their relationship. He's not ignoring you, he's ignoring his feelings. You have to get those feelings out and relating to him in that way may be best if simply talking to him doesn't work. Best.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Just tell him it's unacceptable that he doesn't spend time with you. When he is playing video games, it's the same as if he's not there at all because he won't talk or do anything. Why are you married if you are never together? I'd say talk to him and set times when he can play and when he should be with you. Otherwise don't have sex with him.
Please answer mine too http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlrY2...
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- MommaLv 77 years ago
In my opinion, it seems like he's trying to escape. I didn't realize it at the time, but when my ex started playing non-stop, it was the beginning of the end of my marriage. Instead of dealing with reality and actually trying to work on our issues he ran away and tried to escape them which in turn, made them into bigger issues which we were not able to recover from. As another poster stated, you can't do anything to make this marriage work if he's not willing, marriage is a two person deal and it takes two people to make it work.
- JackbootLv 77 years ago
If you're still in shape and attractive, then like the other answerer said, put on a nighty or other lingerie and flash him. If you're not overweight and out of shape but still can't get his attention that way, then maybe the marriage is over, perhaps he's losing his mind or something!
- 7 years ago
Men play video games my husband does. Unplug his stuff. Put it away while he is at work. Then talk to him
- Anonymous5 years ago
I beleive in destiny but I still think you have to fight to save your marriage. Especially if you have children.
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- Anonymous7 years ago
ask him what he would think if you were spending time chatting with me on here when he wanted to talk to you
- 7 years ago
throw that computer in the garage....talk to him..ask him who is more important..your wife or the silly computer games...