I really need some advice. Open to anyone. Help?
So I've been having roommate issues (keep in mind we live in a dorm and share a bathroom with 2 others). I don't like her as a person. She's manipulative, competitive, and a lire (she stole money for her parents and said they were for books but spent it on alcohol). She got in the habit of having her boyfriend over a lot (at least 3 times during the weekday and saturday/sunday). They have been doing things like making out or getting frisky under a blanket while I'm in the room (sometimes working) that make me uncomfortable. Within the past month, they have stayed at his place because his roommate moved out...but the other day they came over and i stepped out for 10 min to get something to eat and when i came back they were about to try and shower together.
That was basically my last straw. I had a talk with her the other day and told her how things have been bothering me and I was feeling uncomfortable and that I felt like they just expected me to leave whenever he came over. She said that if i had spoken up they would have left, and I told her that it is extremely awkward for me to have to do that while they're are under a blanket, and that they are mature enough to know that if things are about to go down...they should leave. Then she said that they go over to his place so much so it wasn't fair that I said he couldn't come over...to that I said that i was fine with him being here while I'm gone, but i am uncomfortable with him being here while I'm in the room.
So today she initiated another conversation and told me that she didn't approve how I handled the situation and that I should have come to her when it bothered me. I completely agree with that...I should have...but I thought maybe things would get better and I was wrong. I told her understood her point but that i'm telling her now to prevent future issues. She said that when he was here they weren't "usually" doing things and that yes...things have happened while I was in the room and then she said it was because they were drunk. Then she said she felt I was exaggerating the issue.
To that I said, that's fine...she can think that way if she wants...but I'm feeling uncomfortable and doing what I need to get myself out of that situation. I can tell she's mad, but at this point I don't think I care. She has no friends up here besides her "boyfriend" (**** buddy)...and I'm not sure she has anyone at home to talk to this other then her parents. A similar thing happened to her roommate last year. They got in a really big fight because my roommate was feeling the same way I do. I'm still going to be nothing but civil to her, but I was just wondering what others thought of this.
I ended up saying i would room with her again next year before all this started but obviously that isn't happening. I'm hoping i can get out of it before next year...if that doesn't happen i'll just get a room change.
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
You are too soft!
She has no right to say anything about this situation. You had every right to feel uncomfortable and you did very well speaking up!
Her approriate move should be apologizing, not nagging at you for what you should've done.
How rude of her!
Every individual has a right to do whatever they want to do as long as they are not hurting others.
She said she felt unfair to tell her f buddy to not come over to her dorm room that she shares with you??
Well, it was unfair for you too. End of the story.
If it is at all possible, I suggest you talk to the head floor advice person (?)
And tell him/her everything you posted here.
- 8 years ago
You have tried a civil approach. It didn't work. Now it's time to roll up you sleeves, get down and fight. Maybe you could do the same to her that she did to you. But girl you gotta stand strong.
- 8 years ago
You've basically done what was necessary. Clearly you should have your reasonings respected as much as you respect hers. I would personally be trying every way possible to get out of there.
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- 8 years ago
I think you should find another roommate if you can leave the situation.