Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 8 years ago

Poem "Aftermath" Thoughts?

The bombs were dropped

Everything in the world stopped

People stood gasping

As buildings around were collapsing

Countries were at war

Hatred sewn deep in people’s cores

Skies have become dark

The mushroom cloud’s mark

No children will be born

As people will lay dead and torn

Nuclear power is feared

It wipes continents clear

Of any and all life

The bombs take flight

And children cry in the night

When their mother’s die

And the world ripped wide

Lost in smoke and radiation

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    David

    Funny you should write on this topic. Slightly similar, I wrote one

    today called Anarchy 2013 A.D.

    I liked this, structurally and the storyline, a gripping read, eldritch.

    Rhymes and near rhymes were good, but is looks like you sort of

    lost it in the smoke and radiation there at the end, which might have

    been a good, intentional move on your part.

    I still think one this long, with this subject, and lyrical, could use some

    breathing room with 4 stanzas and a couplet, but as is works too, to each

    his own. Good flow and sentence length was consistent.

    Congrat

    ________________

  • 8 years ago

    I like it

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.