Haven't had sex with husband in over 2 years?

I have been with my husband for 14 years and of that 14 years we have been married 13 years. We both are obese but it never stopped us from having sex until about 2 years ago. I have talked to him about it and all he says is that we are to big to have sex. It really bothers me because I don't feel he wants to even try anymore. I have contemplated divorce but then I second guess myself. We don't fight about anything. I feel like though I am living with a roommate. We don't even kiss or hug let a lone hold hands any more either. We both even do our own laundry. He was diagnosed , about 5 months ago, with diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and low testosterone. The doctor put him on medications for ALL and I saw a change in his mood. I was happy to learn that everything wrong with him would cause his lack of interest in sex but was told that after a couple of months being on his medications he would be back to wanting sex. Still nothing has happened and I just found out about 2 weeks ago he stopped using his med for the low testosterone. He said he didn't feel it was doing anything for him. I am so lost of what to do next.


Thank you all for your replies. As for the reply of "too huge" we were both obese when we meet but that didn't stop us from having sex. "Too huge" is just an excuse. I know people that are a lot bigger than us that are very sexually active.

10 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    What you both need to do is end the crap, get to counseling, and get healthier. He's down on himself, you're down on yourself, he feels gross, just END IT, get off the couch, and do something about it.

    Work out together, start making healthier meals, and stop the cycle of getting fatter and giving up. If you want your relationship back, you have get your bodies and minds back on track first.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    seems such as you adult men have some severe matters. have you ever sat down and had a severe communicate and asked him why he isnt fascinated in intercourse with you? sounds like 7 months in the past you probably did some thing once you have been tipsy and rejected him and that could have had an enduring result on him. It cant injury to sit down down and talk if he's prepared or attempt a counselor in case you the two experience your marriage is properly worth saving. It cant injury. Husband must be prepared to artwork on the courting as properly as you. in case you the two arent going to artwork on your marriage mutually then couseling would be an excellent waste of time at which era you will ought to make the alternative despite if to stay or go. Marriage is stable yet demands relatively some compromise and artwork too :) terrific needs!

  • 8 years ago

    You need to create will power and determination to save your married life. It is but natural that after so many years, a person sex drive or stamina decreases. But yes i do agree that atleast a couple should hug and show affection. Dont worry. Medications can cause severe mood swings. Dont leave him. Just think that it might be you in his place____would you like being left alone. A true companion stays with the other in both their ups and downs. Just be nice to your husband. If he doesnot hug, you can hug. Cook him his favourite dish. Show him that you care for him. But honestly a divorce is not an end to marital problems.

  • 8 years ago

    I say counseling. There are alot of medications that will cause his sex drive to reduce (I know I am one of those people) but he should be willing to at least have sex and please you. It sounds like you both have things that need to change to make your life happier I would consider a counselor. If not together then get one for yourself so you can better understand how to deal with your concerns. Good Luck to you all hope is not lost you just have to be willing to work on it.

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  • Hope
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    I agree with Mrs. Frankenstein and Geneva. You both need to get healthy together and make changes in yourselves together. You need to focus on getting healthy first and then worry about the sex. I have a feeling that after you two get on an exercising routine and eat healthier that the sex will slowly move back into your marriage. It's alot of work but its worth it. Wish you best.

  • Raen
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    You should have a talk with him about how this is affecting you as well. The part about the roommate was especially poignant, because it points out how you feel about the change in situation.

  • 8 years ago

    Health is so important! Your physical health can totally affect your emotional health. You guys need to do whatever you can to be healthy! Take the lead...do it for yourself and for your relationship.

    You'll feel better if you're able to live a healthier lifestyle.

    good luck! Sounds tough, but you can do it.

  • 8 years ago

    Diavetes its the problem he cant not have a eraction nop nop

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Lose the weight and have a normal life like everyone else.

  • 8 years ago

    i know this is lame but get your body right then he will want it ..sorry if i upset you .. but its the true....

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