Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 years ago

Wife's new best friend is a guy?

My wife and I have a decent marriage. It was rocky when I cheated 2 years ago and I thought we moved on from that. However, within the last year she has befriended a guy from work with whom she either sees or talks to daily. They hang out constantly, sometimes with our kid alone. Lately she has been spending more and more time with him. I have looked at her phone and although I find nothing indicating an affair, I have found that she told him about my cheating from 2 years ago. He tells her if she needs anything he's there for her and that she should "replace" me. When I talk to her about this friend she tells me that unlike me, she has done nothing to make me not trust her and that she has a right to be friends with who she wants. She doesn't know that I know about what she has told him about my affair. They hang out at all times of the day and night. She says they are just "best friends" and that he is like her brother. Is this friendship a red flag or am I being sensitive?

8 Answers

  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your the one that cheated you have no place to judge what she does.

    Source(s): Vanessa
  • 8 years ago

    it sounds to me like you don't have a decent marriage. you cheated, and now you feel guilty and suspicious of your wife, and she throws the affair back in your face when you try to talk to her about her new friend. going through her phone is not cool, regardless of what you think may be going on. if you want her to trust you again and truly move on from your affair, then you need to trust her. but i would be wary of this friendship, because he should not be bashing on you ("replace him") and she should not be letting him. you are supposed to be her #1 man and she should not let any of her friends, male or female, talk badly about you. perhaps talk to her about your feelings and ask her to respect the fact that you're both still healing from this issue 2 years ago and you need her to reassure you about this friend. hang out with them together and see how this guy acts when you're there. does he get jealous, uncomfortable, try to make fun of you? follow your gut.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    BS excuse - they ARE having an affair and she's darn good at covering it up if you don't think there is anything more going on.

    Its a red flag in my book - the fact they spend time alone with each other with YOUR child and the fact its more and are a fool!

  • Bobbie
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    There is certain conduct that is acceptable within the boundaries of marrage..this IS NOT one of them. You should be her lover, best friend and confidant.

    The Doobie Brothers has a song about this: "What a fool believes."

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  • Elenor
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    do you want to be my friend? This girl texts my husband all the time, he says they are just friends. I never needed a male friend, figured one, my husband was enough, but we can start a friendship and text each other, otherwise it's pretty much double standards, isn't it?

  • 8 years ago

    what ever it is or is not is beside the point your guilt at having cheated on her is loud and clear not so good when the shoe is on the other foot huh?

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    If you trust her, you wouldn't give a fvck who she hangs out with. If you don't trust her, then your marriage is broke.

  • 8 years ago

    dude dump the *****, or she's gonna mess you up bad

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