How are young introverted guys supposed to get girls?

I'm a 22 year old guy who just graduated from college. I'm a pretty introverted and monotone person and I have always struggled with getting relationships. I only had 2 short-term girlfriends before, and the only reason I even had two is that I resorted to online dating, after having absolutely NOTHING during my teen years. I didn't even get my first kiss until I was 20. I'm approaching my 23rd birthday and I'm still a virgin (furthest I ever got was 2nd base). I always hear people saying that you should be yourself in order to find the right girl. I have ALWAYS been myself but I never get any girls. When I was in college, I approached a few girls in person, but it never worked out. I either got rejected, avoided, or friend-zoned. I'm not the type of person who just goes and has random conversations with girls because I'm not able to warm up to people like that. I need to know a girl really well and be comfortable around them in order to proceed with a meaningful convo. Otherwise, it just dies down after a minute of small-talk. I feel like conventional dating advice doesn't work well with introverts. One one hand, people say that you should be yourself, which introverts do very well. On the other hand, people say it's the guys job to be this bubbly, talkative person, which is completely contrary to an introvert's nature. I feel like an introverted guy has to be really good at being fake and pretending to be something that he is not in order to get sex/relationships/dates/etc. What do you think?

Update:

I have already used online dating sites and very little has come out of them.

8 Answers

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  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    Well, I much prefer shy, quiet guys anyway, I just think you have to wait till you find a shy introverted girl with the same interests, don't worry to much about it now, because it will be worth the wait, and plus, you don't wanna lose your virginity to any old girl.

    Source(s): Me :P
  • 6 years ago

    same boat as you, dude. got depression as a result. Imo guys like us who cannot ever be considered an "alpha male" in the eyes of a female just have to take every opportnity we can to socialize and just wait life out. That's just the way it is. No beating around the bush, our personalities are simply not as impressionable as the average bloke. Only on the complete off-shoot occasion that we might have an in-depth conversation with a female, do we start to become attractive. It may take you the rest of your life trying to find this, and watch your friends and colleagues go through girl after girl. But that's the chaos of life my friend. However you must understand that everything is nature had an equilibrium. Karma does exist. We're not very good at attracting women buy I bet you have some outstanding personal qualities like I do. All those guys you see out there raking in girls are, most likely, deeply unhappy even without knowing it. Because extroverts require a little from everyone around them to be happy. Instead of us, who want more from individuals. Hence the guys who rake in the chicks are never truly happy as they can't ever obtain anything truly meaningul. They have a higher probablility of making an impression upon a girl in the first 5 minutes and taking her home. We have a higher probability of creating a bond and connection between personalities through emotion etc. and are thus more likely to have long-term serious relationships and not much dating. That's the way we are. We have to put on a bit of a mask in the first moments of meeting a girl, in order to appear and act a little bit extroverted and therefore raise the chance of making a good impression. But our advantage, is that once the girl is "hooked" or posing an interest in you ( which it appears, like me, no one has) it is so much more likely that we can attract them with our personality and form a connection. So you have to ask - would you rather a lifetime of meaningless flings or would you rather 2 - 4 serious long term relationships? If it is the latter, then keep doing what you're doing. A girl is guaranteed to come along eventually. If you want a bit more action tho, then like i said before you need to adopt a bit of an extroverted mask.

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  • Day
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    Get in touch with some dating sites. You will find some one.

  • 7 years ago

    i think you should open up more and start having conversations. small talk will get you nowhere

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