Can somebody explain this disgust reflex I have towards my father?

Let me state clearly that I love my father, and that whatever my views I have on him are exclusively not related to this instinctive disgust I have towards him. Just for the record, he has been there throughout my life (I'm 17). He's an authoritative disciplinarian, very restrictive in his parenting ways &... show more Let me state clearly that I love my father, and that whatever my views I have on him are exclusively not related to this instinctive disgust I have towards him. Just for the record, he has been there throughout my life (I'm 17). He's an authoritative disciplinarian, very restrictive in his parenting ways & used to be an alcoholic. He has tendencies of neglecting family and preference towards social life, friends, work, fame, & the such which makes him proud narcissist. But put everything aside, it wasn't a big deal for me growing up with his attitude, in fact it was never really the issue, I've never really expected much out of him. I love him as a father for taking care of my physical & educational needs financially, but emotionally there's no real attachment between us, a parent-daughter relationship that being. But I've filled that void, I don't feel like I'm lacking something or that I should be claiming something from him.

My question is concerning this reflex i have to distance myself away from him every time he's close by. I would ALWAYS cringe when he accidentally touches me, it really makes me feel uncomfortable. A comfortable space between us would be around 2 meters or so. For some reason I find everything about him unfathomably *gross*, the way the talks, moves, attempts small talk, joke, play nice, drive the car, and the way he smells! He does not have B.O but you know how each individual has their own scent? I know his and I CANNOT STAND it, sometimes it brings me to the point of vomiting. I would hug any family member, but I have never hugged him. Never. I just can't. It's too much. I would feel somehow very very contaminated, dirty, when some form of physical contact is made between my dad and I, even if it's just a pat on the shoulder, that's enough to make me shudder and cringe. I look fine but on the inside, I can't deny how uneasy I feel.

Is there some kind of condition where a person has built in disgust reflex for a certain person? It seems like my dad is the only person I feel this way about. And also one thing - I've been experiencing this my whole life, I could recall the feeling as a toddler ... I never wanted to be cradled by my father. It even shows in pictures, I was seen crying when he tried to carry me.

Is there an explanation for this?
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