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AmJ
Lv 6
AmJ asked in Arts & HumanitiesPhilosophy · 7 years ago

When you see what a coward, disrespectful, untrustworthy person is whom you loved, can that fade your love?

I know for some people it may not but for people who have self-worth/esteem, do you feel knowing this persons' true colors will help the love to fade away more rapidly? I'm not saying it'll go away if you truly loved someone but I think it numbs the pain in a way. To see this person was not worth the love you gave them. Thoughts?

Thanks.

Update:

@bernie- you'd think, right? Beginning to question that or maybe it was just this situation that happened.. I don't think they're wholly a bad person but immature and the above stated. Sad to "know" someone for a number of years but to not really "know" them and what they're capable of.. Lesson learned (nothing horrible like a crime-no worries)

Update 2:

@ don h- well- I'm not saying I suddenly stopped loving him after 3+ yrs but I'm saying the way he acted is helping me move on faster and even though I may be angry, I'm letting go little by little and I know we aren't a good fit now. It's just sad it had to come out this way after what we had.

Thanks

Update 3:

Beautiful answers: bernie's edit and I do thank God, thank you. Also out of this world and William hodges plus tizzoseddy and thanks lone woof!

I don't know how I can pick best.. You guys really hit home and thank you ever so much.

PS: no idea who TD everyone!

13 Answers

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  • 7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    We are capable of loving people for many different reasons, on many different levels, in many different ways. We do not once love someone and then suddenly not love them at all, it is not natural to do so. It is the reason we suffer emotional pain and anguish after caring and loving for someone who eventually proved they did not return our love on the same depth and level. Still, it is not as if it is a switch that can simply be turned off. So, instead, we should learn from the experiences and focus on improving upon the positive lessons whilst realizing mistakes were made, attempting not to repeat those same mistakes. We grow. We focus on improving ourselves and our opportunities, then we do our utmost best to move onward to new and greater experiences and challenges. We should do our best to reflect upon the good, give credit where it is due, then realize some things are never meant to be.

    Source(s): Life and living.
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  • 7 years ago

    Definitely. We can never really know people completely. We might, if we have known them for a long time, know them quite well, or we might, having just met someone, barely know them at all. Whether we know someone well or not, we form, within our minds, an image of who and what each peron is. All the feelings (good or bad) that we have for a person are based on whom we imagine them to be. If we learn some formerly unknown thing about a person, they become, essentially, a different person to us. Maybe a drastically different person. Maybe a person that we would never love, admire, or even like. Who wants to hang out with someone that they don't even like?

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Yes, it can indeed, it will take time, especially if your love was true, in that case it hurts even more, but then, lesson learned, my friend. That's life. the point is to move on and, knowing the truth, not harbor resentment or hatred, since those feelings will hurt none other than yourself. It's a process, but remember it must be over, closed and done with at some point in time, the sooner the better. Best wishes!

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  • 7 years ago

    Love is conditional...if that is what you are getting at.

    Even parents expect things from their children.

    You can still love having been disappointed...but at some point the best interest of your love will be compromised if you become their doormat...and that is not even considering your own personal self worth and esteem.

    Helping some one to destroy themselves would definitely be a sign that your own self worth and esteem are not in a healthy place.

    Being resentful that they would seek to enlist your aid in their self destruction is a necessary step in preventing that from happening.

    If you two just disagree with what constitutes a sane and healthy relationship...then it should be possible to maintain a cordial interaction with a respectful agreement to disagree.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Life can be difficult. We need to realize this and not judge people so harshly for the things that they do.

    Yes sometimes it hurts a lot but we need to love them and wish them well.

    This does not mean that we need to be around them, it just means that being angry about the past only hurts the one who is feeling the anger.

    We learn our lessons forgive and move on.

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  • mcveay
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    They certainly exist. I definitely could no longer stand people touching me till i became 13, by way of then I had a large number of friends who could hug me, extreme 5 me, that I only gave up attempting to get them to end. in the previous then, I yelped (Screamed form of) whilst people touched me, yet now i will hug people, touch people, and that they are able to touch me and that i do no longer concepts that plenty anymore. It became purely a extraordinary feeling for me, yet i think of maximum folk recover from it.

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  • bernie
    Lv 4
    7 years ago

    I think you didn't really love them cos You didn't actually know them.

    Additional:... You hit the nail right on the head. Your eyes were opened.. u saw this person wasn't worth the love u gave them... Thank God u know now and don't look back.

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  • 7 years ago

    Forgiveness may bring much love.

    Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, many sins are forgiven her, for she loved much. To whom a little is forgiven, he doeth love a little.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Yes. It's so heartbreaking though. You find out you loved a total stranger and you never knew them. It's kind of scary too.

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  • Julia
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    i think you can still love someone, at the same time as not approving of how they have acted, behaved or condoning what they have DONE.

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