How do you handle people asking for favors/ money?

Let's say you care deeply about people and love to think of yourself as a giver rather than a taker. But you've run into quite a lot of people who claim to have emergencies that somehow require borrowing your money or repeated favors from you at short notice. Now, you have your own life and you don't have time to investigate whether their emergencies are real. But you want to help. You want to be a good person. Have you learned any inspired skills, methods, tips, that helped you to leave such a situation without feeling guilty, without feeling "hustled," without having your time wasted or incurring the resentment of the one asking? How were you able to rise to the challenge in such awkward situations to come out feeling like a better person, even if you didn't help them in the way they'd asked?

6 Answers

  • Steve
    Lv 4
    7 years ago
    Best Answer

    "Friends" who are repeatedly asking you for favors and/or money are not really your friends. Push them back to acquaintances or less.

    And don't worry about what other people think about you, as that gives them far too much control over you.

    In the rare instance (note the singular form) that you do believe they have a genuine emergency and you do acquiesce to give them a "loan", be sure you can do without the money, as more likely than not you won't be seeing it again.

    Sorry, but that is the reality of life.

  • Liz
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    The money answer is ALWAYS the same: "Sorry,I NEVER loan money."

    The favor answer is: "Be more than happy to do you the favor. Let me check my schedule and see when I can get to it. I'll get back to you." Give them a few days and see if they bug you about it again. 99% of the time I never hear another word about the matter.

  • 7 years ago

    Simply put: Lend money to friends and family that you don't intend to get back. Meaning, if you don't have it to spend, don't lend it. Just because you don't do favors or loan out money doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you responsible. Why should I lend out rent money and not pay my own rent? If these people you care about are truly friends and family, they will understand that you don't have it.

  • 7 years ago

    Are you Santa Claus or something? Why should you feel guilty or awkward about NOT being obliged to agree to give whenever asked? "I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me" is all you say. You don't explain or apologize or justify, you just decline to grant the request.

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  • Bdb37
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    first i say

    "i dont know who you've been talking to, to get the impression I've got ready cash. I'm maxxed out like the rest of the planet"

  • 7 years ago

    You have to use your best judgment because there is nothing wrong with helping if you can!

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