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? asked in Social SciencePsychology · 7 years ago

how to get over trust issues...?

basically i've been f*cked over quite a lot for the past 2 years with by my own family and ones i loved/ do anything for. its sad and i've noticed that it menally f*cked me up. i'm not going to go into detail about that but now i'm soooooo afraid to trust people, even my own mother. i don't even date anymore. i want to trust people, i really do. but i just cant, no matter how hard i try! its really getting frustrating and i want to go back to when trusting was easy for me. lol i know this probably sounded silly but someone please tell me how to get over my trust issues?

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  • 7 years ago
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    So, you want to go back to being the trusting ignorant sort of bug that you were before, so that you can be f*cked over again by people you probably shouldn't have trusted in the first place (or wouldn't have if you a) were smart enough to know not to trust them or b) had the experience to tell you that.)

    Seriously, wanting to go back to the person who trusted people (and then got f*cked over) is partly why you aren't trusting people now. That's because your mind is going "HOLY SHNIKEY, I WAS A F*CKING IDIOT FOR TRUSTING THOSE PEOPLE." And since you now equate trusting people with being an idiot, wanting to go back to trusting people is kinda like wanting to go back to being an idiot, which your mind interprets as akin to committing suicide (or inducing self harm) and is making you not trust people as a way to slap your conscious self awake.

    Trust comes from knowing someone isn't going to f*ck you over. Trust someone who does and your mind won't trust you, which means it then can't trust anyone else (who is doing the trusting but you.) Trust is kinda like being naked: you don't want to just get naked with the first person you see and hope everything works out. What you want to develop is the attitude "I don't trust you but if you convince me otherwise, I wouldn't mind it." In other words, the more you create the idea that trust involves work (and not just by you,) the stronger your instinct will be to trust that the person you do trust is worth it. You don't strip down for strangers, so why trust them?

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  • 7 years ago

    I've been clinically depressed for three years, I'm 15. I have trust and abandonment issues because of that. I've been in a relationship for a month now, I've told her I have really bad trust issues, I'm jumping to conclusions if she's cheating on me and what not, and I told her I'll do this and not be mad at me, she does the same to me because she has trust issues because her past relationships.

    You have to be comfortable who you are.

    My trust issues are slowly going away because of her.

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  • 7 years ago

    Tell them what hurted you when they screwed u over and be brave tell them it will give u closure the fact that they acknowledged the fact that they hurt you

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