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My son hates me and wont forgive me?

i walk out on my son life and a marriage 24 years ago. i left every behind. i start a new life with my new wife and have three kids. there times i feel like i should go back but i didnt because i felt guilty and embarrassed. we found each other 6 years back and i tried to bring him into the family but he never want to be apart of my life and my family. he hates me and he never talk to my other kids. i dont not know what to do with estranged son

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  • 7 years ago
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    You can keep trying to reach out to him if you want but honestly I would just give him space. He may never forgive you. To him you ran out on HIM and started a new life with someone you loved and had kids you actually loved. He probably don't think it's fair that your other kids got to grow up with a father and he did not. I'm sure he seen his mother upset and struggle because of you. He probably also struggled. He now sees the happy family you have now and can't help but to look at his past and blame you for it. Did you make the right call in leaving a relationship you was unhappy with? Yes. Did you make the right call on leaving him behind and not trying to be there for him? No. I don't blame him at all for his feelings. I wouldn't want anything to do with my half brothers and sisters either if that was the case. You can tell him that you will give him some space to think about what's going on and that when he is ready to get to know you then you will be there waiting for him. He probably only wants to know you right now, not the kids you have with someone else. He needs you to tell him why you did what you did and you will never forgive yourself for it. You made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes ( maybe not as big as the one you did ). Hopefully he will choose to come around & try to get to know you and build a relationship with you but it's a possibility it won't happen. Always be there waiting if he needs you. Rather he's accepting you at the moment doesn't matter. Don't constantly beat yourself up for your past. You can't change it. Just make sure you do what you can for him and with him NOW, in the present and move on. Maybe you to should consider seeking some type of counseling together. If you two do go and hang out or spend time together don't bring your other kids, or your wife. Your 3 kids have got to spend time with you for their whole life, they have been able to talk to you about what's going on or go to you for help. Your 1 son has not had that luxury and after all that time he has waited I believe he should be allowed to have him all to yourself from time to time.

    I hoped this helped and things get better between you and your son!

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  • 7 years ago

    Jason, I read some of these answers and I disagree. You aren't nessecarily the heartless azzhole they describe you as, you have to take in consideration of your new family as well the old in all this and let's face it - the whole situation is kinda crappy. I had a big fight with an ex and she moved out with no notice, I tried to reach out to her for 3 years and got no response after messages, trying to find her on internet, through freinds, through her grandparents, I still don't know if she is even alive or had a son without my knowledge - I gave up eventually and now I have a wife and 2 kids.

    With all that being said, the best thing to do is to keep trying to reach out to your son. You're new kids and family will see you differently if you just throw in the towel too early, you have to teach your new kids and the old ones that every kid deserves an awesome dad. My wife see's completely different than me of course, protecting her natural interests, but you have to look at it like this. If your new kids didn't have a father or you couldn't be there for them, wouldn't you still try to build an overdue relationship with them??? - OF COURSE MAN!!! You're new family may not give you the forgiving that the old son would, just keep working both sides and don't get discouraged - remember this whole situation is F'd up - set a good example for everyone how to handle something properly like this.

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  • 7 years ago

    You are a coward that abandoned your family. You do not deserve to be close to your son. In fact, you do not deserve much at all. People like you make this world a terrible place. I assume that that boy did not grow up with a father figure. Being a single mother is hard for the mother and the child.

    Of course your son is mad at you, and you should leave him the hell alone. It is ridiculous to think that I child would ever want to be a part of your new life.

    Just **** off.

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  • Maybe you shouldn't have been such an ignorant "father" in the first place. If you're going to bring life to this world, you are going to take care of what you started. You should be ashamed, your "son" is doing the right thing by staying away from you. He probably doesn't want to end up like you.

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  • 7 years ago

    If I were your son (Or daughter, in my case) I'd forgive you but I wouldn't be able to still look at you. I may, sooner or later, but not everyone's the same. He may not be holding a grudge against you any more but what you did wasn't something small and it's literally been 3 decades. It's not something small obviously. If you really are sorry and do something that'd make it up to him or show him how sorry you are, and if he feels ready, he'll come back to you in his own time. Good luck though, sir.

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  • 7 years ago

    If i was your son i would be extremely pissed to and you did something wrong so thats all you can expect but by time one day he will forgive you...But he still is mad and you have to respect that

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  • 7 years ago

    did your kid ask the same question because I just answered that

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