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tired of being alone?

I'm tired of being alone i have no friends or girl friend. my girl friend left me a couple of months ago and since then i have been completly alone idk what to do. Its not because im bad looking its because it is hard for me to be social because i don't trust anyone everytime i try to go out and be normal something bad happen. Its hard for me to find a girl friend because it seems like all girls do is lie about everything and they cant be trusted and i don't have guy friends because all they ever want to do is go out and get messed up. What should i do?

4 Answers

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Stop relying on luck . F**k luck . Learn 2 trust people . U have 2 take ur chances if u r gonna create a relationship . Go out , join a club or a gym , exercise , eat healthy , learn 2 trust , try 2 b friends with everyone , stop thinking about luck , b positive & remove negative thoughts from ur mind , and there u go .

    Source(s): Genkno
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  • 7 years ago

    1) "I don't trust anyone"... "they can't be trusted"

    It seems to me like you had some bad experiences that led you to believe this - or perhaps you just have strong ideas. Either way, you are afraid that something bad will happen as a result of you trusting others. My best guess is that you DO have bad experiences with "untrustworthy people" all the time!

    Your best solution? "Don't trust anyone"! No one can take advantage of your trust if you do not give it out. You do not trust anyone because you CANNOT trust anyone. You have a fear of giving out your trust - and rightly so, because "untrustworthy people" hurt you all the time.

    But what you do not realize is that your fear CREATES "untrustworthy people".

    2) "Every time I try to go out and be normal something bad happens"

    Yes, bad things happen - but so do good things. But you might be focusing only on the bad things! Suppose that a friend fails to keep a promise. Yes, this might be a good sign that he is untrustworthy. But what about all the trustworthy things that he has done so far? Consider how many times that he let you down. Heck, consider how many times YOU let others down because of an emergency, an accident, or because we are all human and make mistakes.

    You might be thinking that others are untrustworthy because you discount all the trustworthy or "good" facts about them. You believe that others will be untrustworthy, so you ignore all their "good" actions, unconsciously look for things that make people untrustworthy, and then take any evidence that you can find (real or imagined) to conclude that others really are "untrustworthy". Of course, some people really are untrustworthy. But a good amount of people probably aren't.

    3) "All girls do is lie"... "and they can't be trusted"

    Same thing. The chances that ALL girls lie all the time is extremely low. Perhaps it's time that you start looking for girls that you know might be less like this. You might want to make friends with girls before hand to see what their characteristics are like before deciding to pursue a deeper relationship.

    4) "All [guys] ever want to do is go out and get messed up"

    Same as above. Some guys do. Some guys do not. The chances that ALL guys are like this is extremely slim. You should go make friends with men that are less likely to be like this.

    5) Getting over your fear.

    The best way might be to talk to an expert (e.g. a psychologist) about this, if you can. But here are some tips that might help you out.

    - Realize that your misery is based on an irrational belief. You are feeling alone and miserable because you cannot trust people. You cannot trust people because you believe that they are untrustworthy. But there is NO WAY that everyone in the world is untrustworthy.

    - Take the confirmation bias to the test. Conduct a secret experiment (this really works). Think of ANY idea (e.g. "people are nice"). Now go out and hang out with a few people. While you are interacting with others, carefully watch their actions. Whenever they do an action that agrees with your idea, make it very important in your mind (e.g. repeat "wow, he is very nice" every time someone does something nice). Whenever they do an action that disagrees with your idea, ignore it (e.g. repeat "that was just a mistake" every time someone does something wrong). Imagine yourself actually believing these ideas. You will find that beliefs can be made and broken very easily.

    - Observe your own actions. For a day or two, write down and track of everything going on in your life. You will be surprised to find that you neglect MANY things in life! But this is normal. Realize that, sometimes, you will be the one being neglected in another person's life - and you might be taking this to mean "they don't trust me" or "they don't care".

    - Try to find the source of your misery. Sometimes, the problem is deeper than just "people are untrustworthy". For example, someone might have a huge video game addiction that keeps them from going out to meet others.

    - Meet people who are more like you. Are you a writer? A gamer? Join clubs or communities of people who share your interests (online or otherwise). You'll be less concerned with social problems when you have something more important or distracting to talk about.

    Hope this helps! :)

    Source(s): My own life.
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  • Vira
    Lv 5
    7 years ago

    What do you do everyday? There must be something you do that involves other people.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    You will be alone FOREVER.

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