should i let my sister and her son move in?
My sister has to move out of our mothers house because our mothers landlord said shes only allowed up to three people in the apt. My sister has no where to go she broke the rules at other family members houses and they wont allow her to move back in. Im pretty much her last resort. she wont go live with her sons father because there are some issues there. (some one in his household is touching her son in inappropriate ways). I know its gonna be a struggle trying to support her till she gets a job in my town. I did set up ground rules for her.
1. has to be looking for a job till she gets one.
2. No guys over the house when me or my bf are not home
3. she has to clean the house for rent till she gets a legit job.
3. Her son has to be her top priority
4. Save to get her own apt.
If she breaks any of the rules shes out of the house no if ands or buts. i love her but she has got to grow up.
My boyfriend thinks its gonna be a huge problem but i really don't think its gonna be that bad. We are her last resort. and besides we helped his Father out by having him live with us. Yes it was a big headache but he was an alcoholic we stay with him for a year and a half but we were not his last resort. he also kept breaking all the rules other family members set for him so they got fed up with him and kicked him out. He finally moved in with his daughter and her family and now hes doing great no alcohol he follows the rules. She was his last resort and i think he realized that. I think that's why hes doing so well now. I think that its a very similar situation with my sister. we are her last resort. I think shes gonna realize that and get her life together. shes going to be 3 hours away from Philadelphia where she has friends and people who would get her into trouble. Here she won't know anybody she wont have that influence to break the rules.
My thinking is she never disrespected me and she's family has no where else to go and we did help out my boyfriends dad for a year and a half.
my boyfriends thinking is shes gonna break all the rules and leave us with her son just because of her past history.
I dont want to have to choose between my boyfriend and my sister i just need some one elses opinion on this. Please help or help me come up with a solution that will work.
- Geri42Lv 77 years ago
your situation is a really hard one. But... I think your boyfriend is right, this situation is going to be trouble. Your sister has already proven, time after time, that she will NOT assume responsibility for herself and her son. She won't work. She can't or hasn't gotten along with anyone she's lived with so far. What kind of education does she have? Or did she drop out of school too?
What she can do to help herself is: apply for food stamps, apply for Government assisted housing, check out the city bus and make sure it's available to take her to work, (McDonald's is always hiring), check to see what kind of childcare is available in case she finds work, and take evening classes if she is not educated. SHE got herself into this mess. She's the only one who can get herself out. And she's not gonna do it until she's ready, no matter how badly you want it for her.
I wouldn't do it if it was me. But... I understand your feeling re: she's family, and you need to help. If you do this I hope you don't get hurt in any way. Best of luck to you all.Source(s): I read, I think, I reason.
- 7 years ago
Well, first of all you are NOT her last resort, there are shelters and group homes that will take her and her baby. There is also housing projects, i don't know if you have them where you are but its worth it to look around. If you are not comfortable with putting them in eiher of those then i say Heck, take them in and let her try it out. She is your SISTER, that's blood. If your boyfriend doesn't understand than so be it, let him see too let him see how important your sister and your nephew is to you. Make sure your sister really understands the rules of living with you, make sure if your sister doesn't understand that there is somewhere for her to go, your nephew doesn't deserve to be on the streets.
- spot aLv 77 years ago
Your boyfriend is right about it being a huge problem.
Put the rules in writing, with the eviction clause there too. Perhaps get a solicitor to write it, this is your best option, but if money is tight, write it yourself, and MAKE SURE it is signed by you, your boyfriend and her in front of 2 witnesses, preferably one of them is a JP.
This might give you some legal power over your situation, and will spook her to obey the rules.
- TyLv 57 years ago
Your sister is an irresponsible scab dragging her little son along for the ride, your BF is right and it is his house too.
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- Serene ELv 77 years ago
As long as you set ground rules, you tell her she's out if she breaks them, go ahead and then follow up if she breaks them.....