My boyfriend doesn't initiate sex...?

We've only been together for 2 months, and I keep waiting for him to make the first move. He tells me that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and been with. Isn't that reason enough for him to initiate sex? I also feel like he has a low sex drive. I am 29 and he is 35. Is it normal for men at his age to not want sex all the time? I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but sometimes I don't feel like he's attracted to me because he doesn't make any moves. I have even gone as far as throwing myself at him and he wound up just wanting to cuddle. Granted, there are some issues outside of our sex life that could potentially be contributing factors. He has a lot of insecurities about my past. I grew up living a very fast life; a lot of the men I dated were of status, i.e. NFL players, a famous rockstar, CEO's. I dated these men when I was young, neaive, and completely consumed by a ridiculous black hole. I'm in a completely different place in my life now and no longer find that empty lifestyle attractive. He constantly brings up my past, the men in my past, and how he doesn't compare to them. He also tells me that he doesn't know why I am with him, which breaks my heart. I have never been more attracted to anyone in my life than I am to this man. I just want him to want me the way that I want him. I don't know, maybe I just answered my own question? Does he not initiate because he feels insignificant?

Also, when we do have sex he seems like he is in his own world; he's almost selfish in a way. I like a more passionate approach and prefers the opposite. I find myself allowing him to do what he wants with me because I just want him to want me. Then after sex he is a passionate little puppy who just wants to cuddle and have sweet pillow talk. It's very confusing. Help!

2 Answers

  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    How about talking to your boyfriend about how you feel about this whole situation. I think that he doesn't initiate sex because he doesn't want things to get ruined or maybe he doesn't have a high sex drive. There are some guys out there that doesn't have much of a high sex drive. It's normal and isn't something that you should feel bad about. He loves you, from what I assume, and he calls you 'beautiful' and compliments you because he wants you to feel good about yourself and thinks that you are those things to him. That shouldn't be enough to initiate sex at all. It's not something that should happen just because someone calls another person that. Many people are selfish when it comes to sexual actions. They want to finish themselves and then he/she gets lazy when it comes to finishing the other because you get that tired feeling after doing things like that. He gets in that cuddle mood and wants to talk to you all sweet like after wards to show you how he feels towards you. It's just his own way of showing that. I know it's all confusing and you wish things wouldn't be this way. The only way that things will change though is if you talk to your boyfriend about how you feel about this situation. With a healthy relationship, theirs always good communication. Without that communication the relationship would just be "one-sided" and end up failing. You wouldn't want that, do you? I don't think so. So just speak to your boyfriend about how you feel, and ask him why doesn't he initiate sex some of the time. I'm sure he'll tell you the reason. Then respect his reason when he tells you, and don't be upset if it's something that you dislike. It's his personal opinion.

  • 7 years ago

    He probably has a low sex drive, due to a low hormones or whatever they call it

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