23 year age gap relationship?

I am a very mature person, I always have been and due to the absence of my father and my adult disposition, I have, for as long as i can remember, been more comfortable around older men (nobody perverse or who would ever take advantage of my trust) learned and respectable individuals who have offered support and shared knowledge. I have not had 'relationships' with these people, I have never had a 'relationship' with anyone in the past; my exacting taste and love of culture making it difficult to find common interests with a large percent of the populous, however, I have fallen in love. I know it is love as it has gradually grown over the past few years as i have learnt more about my common interests with the man in question, I have learnt from and about him and developed the deepest respect. I feel comfortable with him, I share a connection i have shared with no other..i am not given to flights of fancy and whimsical emotions...and i am convinced he is the one. We are both extremely intelligent, well mannered and well bread individuals, and in the future we are both willing to pursue this relationship. i have no personal concerns of the age gap, though would this be looked down on in middle class society?

7 Answers

Relevance
  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    I've answered this many times before from personal knowledge.

    Successful relationship age gaps can go much higher than that. They're extremely rare though. When intergenerational relationships work, it's usually because the girl has a very high IQ and looks for age and maturity in a much older man to meet her level of conversation. The older man on the other hand has grown through her age group, become wise through age, is good with conversation and also understands her biological needs. So provided both conversation and physical needs are satisfied then it will work.

    Older men tend to be more caring and gentle. They've learnt from life's experiences what a woman substantially younger than themselves really wants in a relationship and the girl responds to that aura of care, compassion and experience. Without knowing the girl's personality or background, her life's experiences are generally very mature and her interests lie in areas way above her age group. After that it's a matter of the meeting of minds.

    To a would be dissenter;

    Imagine yourself in a room talking to a man where a screen separates you and you have no idea of his age. All you can tell is he's at least as old as yourself from the sound of his voice. During your conversation, you discover common interests and likings for certain topics and you feel attracted toward him, just as he is attracted toward you. Anything wrong so far? No!!!

    Suddenly the screen is taken away and you see a man twice your age. Is that a cue to abandon the possibility of a relationship when you are already compatible? No!!!

    But as a dissenter, you're shocked and prejudiced against this type of relationship because;

    Society norms and conventions teaches us that intergenerational relationships are bad, but that is because they are based on the opinions of those who seek their own age groups because of 12 years of schooling which conditions the mind to believe that all relationships should lie within a narrow age group. Even so, there will always be snide comments passed like "cradle snatching" and inferences that "he was potentially having sex with you when you were a baby".

    All that aside, it comes down to a couple enjoying each other's company in the privacy of their own home. The only drawbacks being the longevity of the relationship and the likelihood that each of you may need to cultivate your friendships with others separately as well as developing friendships with those who openly accept you as an intergenerational relationship couple.

    If two people genuinely love each other then they should be allowed to enjoy that love.

    Love conquers all.

    Source(s): Personal experience.
  • Erika
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    6 years is nothing ... However 6 years. Just time. What must 6 years have got to do with the determination or questioning of being with girl except the day you die?? Should you each love each different and you each pick growing old together then time is nothing but what you make it... Only a number. Do not forget if your competent to be married at 23, i'm 23 as well and my boyfriend of slightly over a 12 months has begged and asked for my hand in marriage and i'm now not able to finalize my lifestyles but. I am starting tuition and have alot going for me. 23 is soooooo younger. Believe of how critical and how 'actual' this sense is. Each person experiences this obsession with never being without that one unique individual. Give it some years... See in case your still deeply in love and marriage completely satisfied as you are actually. I advised my bf question me in 5 years ... And maybe i'm going to have one more response. However as for now, i want you in each part of my lifestyles and me making a greater lifestyles for me.. I need your entire aid and no longer your criticism and put downs on why i'm now not as ready as you. Marriage is a colossal decision and a fundamental existence altering decision. Unless you wish to have to be married and divorced one million instances like the individuals who rush into marriage. Step again. Revel in life and the whole lot you could, expertise new matters and give your self time... For those who fairly need to marry her then waiting a number of years isn't any one-of-a-kind or trade compared to while you get married. Consider about it.. Its now not a recreation, its your life and you have to make certain that its the right 'direction' for you.

  • 7 years ago

    Why do some people frown upon others for having and 'age-gap' retationship? Traditionally , relationships or marriages were only allowed after getting the father's permission to do so and this attitude probably still survives into the modern era. A relative of mine married a man 12 years old than her and they celebrated their 25th Anniversary last year. Age-gap retationships can and do work.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    It will be looked down upon. Most people will assume you are looking for a father figure (possible) or perhaps a gold digger.

    As a young woman I had several relationship with older men with similar age gaps. Now, as an older adult I realize how unhealthy these relationship were. It is hard to see when you are a young adult because you feel like you are fully formed. When you hit 30 and you look at an 18 years old you realize how young they are and how gross it is for a 41 year old to be with them.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 5 years ago

    I am 23 he is 47 and we love each other with a passion. Hes very caring and he is always there for me. Age is just a number Ive never loved a man the way i love him. Hes the most wonderful man I have ever met in my life we r getting married this summer. Age gap is nothing to be afraid of when there is love everything is possible..

    .

  • 7 years ago

    Are you ready to take care of a guy that will age way before you?? If you have have kids be ready to do it alone after he is gone. Be ready.

  • 7 years ago

    You have made your decision. Why ask?

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.