Is this a good thesis statement for my National History Day project?

Is this a good thesis statement for Montgomery Bus Boycott? It's for my National History Day project, and I've been stressing more than I should be. But I just want it to be good. I don't wanna fail.

Thesis.

"The Montgomery Bus Boycott was a mass protest by African American citizens in the city of Montgomery, Alabama, against Segregation policies on the city's public buses. On December 1, 1955, activist Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a public bus to a white man, she was arrested and jailed for violating state segregation laws. Her arrest led to the Montgomery Bus Boycott, and the end of segregation in America. Rosa Parks had no idea that her actions would turn her into an icon, and lead to a brighter future."

Be honest please, and PLEASE tell me suggestions and what i need to fix.

It'd mean the world to me.

2 Answers

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  • Froggy
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Do not title it Thesis.

    The term African American is redundant as the city is in America so 'citizens' are automatically American.

    It's also infers racism, they are either American or they are African.

    'The Montgomery Bus Boycott was a mass protest by African citizens in the city of Montgomery, Alabama, against Segregation policies on the city's public buses. On December 1, 1955, black activist of the Civil Rights movement, Rosa Parks, refused to give up her seat on a public bus to a white man and she was arrested and jailed for violating state segregation laws. Her arrest led to the bus boycott, but did Rosa Parks have any idea that her actions would turn her into an icon and, ultimately, the end of national segregation?

    Source(s): Educator
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  • k
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    I do not think you can point to it and say it ended segregation in America- maybe for bus service but there were many other things together, like Brown v Board, which all contributed

    you also capitalized segregation the first time around and it is not a proper noun even though it is what the policies were called there was no policy with that name on it

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