How do you re-kindle romance in a long-term relationship?

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well for the younger couples out there I may be able to answer this, ive been with my significant other for almost 8 yrs and there hasnt been a day that has went by that we dont have our spunky moments I guess it must be the connection, you see when theres connection between two people things should never be boring, the both of you should have confidence and be able to be yourself with one another, being yourself with you other always make relationships more outgoing and fun instead of the couple who have no sense of humor.

    try dancing or singing or even acting out goofy skits to make your partner laugh.

    try pulling prankes and having fun.

    try doing a little bit of some sexiness in the bedroom( for woman throw on some lingerie and light some candles)

    (for men try taking your woman on a picnic or to the movies and make her feel special put flowers by the bed for when she wakes up, woman love waking up to something there other did for them to make them feel special bc you know they are.)

    all woman should have there door opened for them, how you would want another man to treat you mother is how you should treat you girl,wife,fiance.

    to make a reconnection with your other you would know how things have been throughout the days weeks months years and so on. if the way you have done things in the past have slowly made your relationship collapse then maybe you should start over by doing all things different.

    for people with more open relationships if its the sex maybe go out and by some toys if never tried, or maybe even throw and extra person in the bedroom with you. iv heard said that this always brings a touch of spice to a relationship.

    im 21 yrs and my husband is 19 and so far weve been together for about 8 yrs since middleschool

    and like ive said before were happily married and not a day goes by that i could ever say ive gotten bored my husband.

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  • 7 years ago

    Well of course it's best to never let it die down in the first place... in the best-case scenario it wouldn't NEED to be rekindled! But most relationships don't attain this, if any ever really do.

    If you find your relationship in a lurch and want to make things better, I think it's important to think back and remember all the things about them you fell in love with in the first place... start noticing these things and see them as if you're seeing them for the first time. Remember all the things you did together that were new and exciting. Make time for these things, and find some new things to do together that neither of you have ever done but have always talked about doing. Keeping things new and fresh are vital to a thriving relationship.

    Be playful and open sexually... delight in each other as you did when your romance first began. Being intimate is how you express your love for each other physically... it IS important. Hold hands, snuggle, hug, tell them they're wonderful. You can never say I Love You too many times. These little things are what really matters. These things are what will help you to reconnect emotionally, which will lead to the kind of romance we all want.

    Communication cannot be overstated... you MUST be able to talk with and LISTEN to your partner in an open and understanding way. If you're having a problem, do NOT go on the attack. Approach it with the attitude that the most important thing is to make things better in the relationship. In counseling, my husband and I learned to do something called the "solving circle." This is a completely safe imaginary space, inside of which the ONLY thing that matters is hearing and understanding and healing. Making things better between you and the one you love. Doing this will bring you so close. Closer even, maybe, than you've ever been. That emotional closeness and trust will re-kindle romance into a burning flame of love, passion, happiness, and gratitude for the other person.

    Also, maybe above all else... they must be your best friend. I couldn't imagine living with and spending a LIFETIME with a partner who was NOT my very best friend in the world. We have so much in common and love all the same types of things, same sense of humor, same intelligence level, similar outlook on raising children, religion, politics, ALL the big stuff. We confide in each other and can talk about anything with each other. We know there is someone, a partner and teammate, who will ALWAYS be there through everything. That provides you with the most profound sense of peace and security and belonging that I can't imagine not having with my AWESOME husband. Love never has to fade, you can keep it alive and kicking with the right amount of work and attention by BOTH partners!

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  • 4 years ago

    This is not because I have a perfect relationship, but it's because everyday seems like forever since I last saw him. I work three jobs and go to school full time. I feel lucky when I get an hour with him at 5 am because sometimes that is the only time I see him in a weekend. This has hurt our relationship because we don't get much time together, but those times we have are magical.A relationship only works if both partners are working at it together. A relationship is a day-to-day effort and every day the partners in a relationship should do something new for each other even if it is something small like setting a candle light dinner.

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  • 5 years ago

    my relationship is not a long term. I have been with my boyfriend Zach for almost a year and a half. It is difficult to answer this question, because I have not lost much romance in my relationship. This is not because I have a perfect relationship, but it's because everyday seems like forever since I last saw him. I work three jobs and go to school full time. I feel lucky when I get an hour with him at 5 am because sometimes that is the only time I see him in a weekend. This has hurt our relationship because we don't get much time together, but those times we have are magical.

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  • 7 years ago

    A long term relationship cannot be re-kindled but should be adjusted to the situations around you. The new and exciting are gone. It is time to enjoy the slow and easy steps. As time takes its toll on the first bloom of romance you need to remember some of the reasons you are in this relationship, Sex is such a small portion of your day, and though still important it is not the basic reason for being together. Making sure that someone knows how important they are, that they are enough and that they are needed, become much more essential to a relationship. This is romance everyday. This keeps people together longer than any other reason. A special meal, time for two people to remember the good times and bad times you have weathered, a photo album if you have it as a center piece, the memories will do the rest.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Talk to each other about how it used to be, when you first met. Talk to each other about the memories of passion you shared together. Then, take a vacation. Go somewhere desolate. Go somewhere you can enjoy the view and is romantic and fun at the same time. I think the mountains would be great. I know in big bear, there are cabins, several places to walk around and kiss each other like you once did. There are places you can slide down a mountain for that rush, that adrenaline, that excitement. Currently, there is snow, to snuggle with each other by the fireplace. Then, at night, put on some lingerie, not romantic lingerie, sexy, erotic lingerie and surprise him, let him go take a long hot shower and put some candles around and do your make-up like its prom night-lol with eye lashes and all. This will be the start of a rekindled romance. Relationships take so much work, you have got to try, both of you. And, every week, once a week, take a day out just the two of you and do whatever you both care to do. Buy, some lunch, take it to the beach, hold hands, stare into each others eyes, if there's a scary ride, ride it. And talk, talking, having conversation is so incredibly important, its fun. Let me know how it goes.

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  • ,
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Break out of the routine by trying something new or doing something differently. The romance in a long-term relationship usually fizzles out because the two people are stuck doing the same things all the time. For example, every time they meet, they eat then watch a movie. It's fun at first but repeating it makes it feel like a routine. It gets so boring and predictable.

    Besides that, the couple should evaluate themselves. Instead of complaining that their partner has been less loving lately or has been distant etc, they should ask themselves honestly whether they've changed in any negative way. It's easy to take someone for granted after being together for a long time and that makes you do less, put in less effort and think its perfectly fine. So if every person in a relationship improves on themselves instead of blaming their partner, this wouldn't be a problem.

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Everyday, through the day, I'll write down little things about him or that he's done that I'm grateful for then leave them for him to read when he comes home at night. The inspiration came when we were in a rough patch and we both felt like the other didn't appreciate what we did. I started this and, even though he's never read a page, he compliments me all the time now and our relationship is so strong. This small step, which took me a couple of minutes a day, was like napalm to the flame of our relationship! I believe it saved our marriage, this works so good!Surprise them with a treasure hunt. Get them something that they've been wanting for awhile but didn't want to splurge on (new video game he's been dying for or that pair of shoes she's been eyeballing in the mall.. whatever it may be). Hide it in a secret spot and make them go find it (hot and cold works.. or give them clues and let them go find it based on those... or draw a map with X marking the spot).

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  • J
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    Now and then I leave a little note in my husband's lunch box...usually something like:

    Something special will be waiting at home

    Have a great day, Love You

    You have 3 guesses...what color are my undergarments today? (If he gets it right, he gets a rare treat in bed)

    A weekend getaway is always a good idea. You can scope out a getaway place within a couple hour's drive from where you live. Check for good restaurants, things to see or do...or just relax in the solitude of a great hotel suite with room service.

    Scheduling a nice dinner at a local restaurant, and a couple's massage afterwards...then go home to a good bottle of chilled wine and do what seems to be appropriate. Snuggle, watch a movie, play a couple's game, the possibilities are endless.

    Our favorite things involve peace & quiet, phones off, doors locked, and shutting out all distractions as this is 'our time'. I enjoy it when he gently rubs my shoulders, back and sides, and plays with the hair at the back of my neck/head. He enjoys his favorite meal, a home-made dessert, and being teased a little. Showering together (spontaneously) is a great spark.

    When the weather's warm, a picnic and 'remember when' while lavishing a little lovey attention on each other is romantic. ('Remember when' is about conjuring up fond, happy, moments you have shared that are supposed to foster those old feelings of desire & displays of love that made your hearts full of joy and content)

    Valentine's Day is not about candy, jewelry, flowers and other assorted gifts. It's about remembering to do something thoughtful and loving for your partner. We don't do the gifts...and haven't for a long time in our 16 yr marriage. I prefer not having to do dishes or housework on that day, and a cozy, relaxing evening. He prefers a little extra special attention and a good meal....then anticipates some time alone for us without distraction. Now and then he is surprised with something I have purchased for 'us'...a nighty, a couple's game, scented massage oils, or whatever.

    The whole idea of romance doesn't fall on his shoulders, it takes two. So, just the element of surprise (in a fun, loving, playful way) does wonders for a relationship. Don't 'expect' anything particular, just go with it and use your imagination.

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  • Shiela
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Let me see most important key parts of any romantic relationship. 1. Trust 2. Communication 3. Honesty 4. Faithfulness 5. Caring 6. Loving 7. Kind 8. Supportive 9. Spontaneous 10. Adventurous 11. Understanding 12.Compromise 13. Learning different sexual techniques 14. Open-minded 15. Sense of humour 16. Learn how to cook well 17. Buy flowers occasionally. 18. Try different types of wine/liquor 19. Spend time together 20. Love God and prayer. 21. Give space and time when they ask for it. 22. Make the marriage priority not the next time your going to have sex. Well there is some items to ponder. God Bless and Best Wishes.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    The new and exciting are gone. It is time to enjoy the slow and easy steps. As time takes its toll on the first bloom of romance you need to remember some of the reasons you are in this relationship, Sex is such a small portion of your day, and though still important it is not the basic reason for being together. Making sure that someone knows how important they are, that they are enough and that they are needed, become much more essential to a relationship. This is romance everyday. This keeps people together longer than any other reason. A special meal, time for two people to remember the good times and bad times you have weathered, a photo album if you have it as a center piece, the memories will do the rest.

    • Login to reply the answers
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