泓旻 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 7 years ago

好心的大哥、大姊,幫小弟檢查英文自傳,謝謝!

My name is HSIN HSUAN,LEE, I was born to a middle-class family, and raised in Taichung, Taiwan since April 1st,1995, and I spent most of my childhood and school years there. Whatever, I have a younger brother,Alan in my family. My mother is a wholesaler. When I was a student, I always studied hard at school. Besides texts knowledge, Economics is my favorite subject , whenever studying Language, my heart is filled with great joy and interesting.

On a special morning, I miraculously began wondering whether my actions and thoughts were set before I ever acted it out, Steve Jobs said: "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" I agree that. Therefore, I form a habit to play basketball every day . That is to say, my realization regarding "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" was typed in the script, too . And then following the directions to accomplish my wish in the future.

Moreover, I learned how to get along with friends and myself delightedly. I like to play basketball and . I think that everyone should take his live seriously and cherish every minutes on the world. As a result, it is a pity that those who commit suicides are too weak to realize the good in life.

Besides , I am really an hardworking person, and I am confident that I can be a responsible one at this moment . Actually, I found there are many new ways and benefits in learning Language, and then I realized the importance of Language , and began to studying diligently when I was fifteen, because its various interesting for me. Although The learning load was quite large, I still tried hard to keep a balance between studying and extracurricular activities.

Update:

Anyway, Aside from these, I am quite sure about myself and always persisting in carrying out my plan of future. To reach my goal, I have tried my best through carefully mapping out my schedule with a hope that my life will go just as I want.

Update 2:

This is out of the question and it may need to be adjusted to the changing circumstances though, I will hang on it. so I hope that I could keep being an hardworking and responsible person, and try to do my best, I firmly believed that .

Update 3:

Every creature was made with dignity, and all living things received their lives elegantly.

Retrospect the school days, I had studied a lot. As for my future, It must be hard and full of mean tricks, but I am really enjoyed in the process of overcoming the obstacles and completing the tasks.

Update 4:

That means I will accomplish my wish step by step . And hoping I could be the best student in your school , to be hardworking student and to do the best of my ability, thanks.

Sincerely , Yours Andy-LEE

Update 5:

哪裡語法不通順,可以指正一下我嘛? 謝謝

Update 6:

Thank you for your compliment !

小弟是個高職生,五月考完統測要推台中科大,真是感謝大大的指正。

由於我的點數不夠只能獻上10點,我深感抱歉!

1 Answer

Rating
  • 7 years ago
    Best Answer

    Basically, your English level is good and did a good job.

    My name is Hsin Hsuan, Lee, I was born to in a middle-class family, and have raised in Taichung, Taiwan since April 1st, 1995, and I spent most of my childhood and school years there. Whatever In my family, I have a younger brother, Alan, in my family and my mother, she is a wholesaler. When I was a student, I always studied hard at school. Besides studying texts’ knowledge and Economics is was my favorite subject(經濟學不是您課內的課程嗎?以經濟學為課外讀物罕見且難得,我暫且將原句當成是表達的問題,做了修正,如真是課外讀物,請自行修正,或請提出,以利再修改), whenever studying Language, my heart is always filled with full of great joy and interesting.(joy 和 interesting發自於自身,不使用被動式,可能較合宜)

    On In a special (or particular) morning, I miraculously began wondering whether my actions and thoughts all were set before I ever acted it out, Steve Jobs said: "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" I agree with that. Therefore, I form a habit to of playing basketball every day. That is to say, my realization regarding "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" was typed into the script too, and then I have been following the directions to accomplish my wish in the future.

    Moreover, I learned how to get along with friends and myself delightedly. I like to play basketball and I think that everyone should take his/her live seriously and cherish every minutes on when they live in the world. As a result, So I consider that it is a pity that those who commit suicides are too weak to have a chance to realize the good sides in their lives.

    Besides, I am really an hardworking person, and I am confident that I can be a responsible one at this any moment. Actually When I was fifteen, due to I found there are many new ways and benefits in learning language, and then I realized the importance of Language, and began to studying diligently when I was fifteen, because its has various interesting for me, Although no matter how large the learning load was quite large,

    2013-01-29 22:25:09 補充:

    I still tried hard to keep a balance between studying and attending extracurricular activities.

    Whereas, Aside from these, I am quite sure about myself and always persisting in carrying out my plan of the future,

    2013-01-29 22:26:48 補充:

    and I have tried my best to reach my goal through carefully mapping out my schedule with a hope that my life will go just as I had planned.

    This is without question that it needs to be adjusted to the changing circumstances, so I will hang on it and hope that

    2013-01-29 22:28:00 補充:

    I could keep being a hardworking and responsible person, dedicate my efforts to my future, and I firmly believed that I can make it.

    Every creature was born with dignity, and all living things received their lives elegantly. Retrospect the school days,

    2013-01-29 22:30:04 補充:

    I had learned a lot. As for my future, It must be hard and full of adventures, but I will enjoy the process of the overcoming obstacles and completing the tasks in the future.

    On the whole, I will accomplish my wish step by step, hoping that I could be hardworking and one of the best students

    2013-01-29 22:30:36 補充:

    in your school, and always do the best of my ability to everything in the school that I should deal with, thanks for your attentions.

    Sincerely yours,

    Andy-Lee

    ******請注意,只有在一名詞之第一個字母是a , e, i, o, u 或最前的發音為母音時如hour, 不定冠詞才是an , 否則應使用a .

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