Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 7 years ago

How attracted should you be to the person you date? (A bit long, sorry!)?

A guy at my work is gorgeous, I never noticed at first, but when he started to show interest in me I couldn't keep my eyes off him. But it's strange, he's very good looking.. but.. I guess not my type, I'm not that sexually attracted to him. See I don't know if I'm just crazy saying that, because I've only dated 2 men and they were both "my type" both physically and personality wise, I thought they were so hot. They could turn me on with one word, and melt my heart at the same time.

This new guy has a good personality, and good looks so who am I to be so picky right? But I guess because my exes and I got along so well (well enough to still be friends) and I'm also so sexually attracted to them I've convinced myself that a serious relationship for myself would have to be perfect.

The reason why I'm not just giving him a try, seeing how it works out is because my ex and I, are in a complicated position right now. We may get back together soon, because we both have feelings. We're just trying to resolve the issues that made us break up in the first place. And the only reason I'm even considering this other guy, is I guess the whole mess with my ex has been dragged on for too many months, it may be just a phase but I think I'm losing feelings. It's not so easy to just jump boat on that and switch to someone else, if I do I want to make sure he's worth it..

Any advice?

Thanks so much!


Thanks for all the answers! :) And I just want to clear up that he wouldn't be rebound, I mean if i were completely over my ex I'd just go for it, and if I were completely for my ex I wouldn't even consider him. but although we're not really in a relationship, we've been trying to resolve issues for over a year.

4 Answers

  • Favorite Answer

    It would be a wrong reason too persue in this new guy because of your ex..You'd feel worse if you haven't cleared anything between you and your ex & you jumped on a new boat at the same time,it wouldn't really be fair on the other guy if he does have any feelings for you. But then again it doesn't mean you can't get to know him better? Maybe try a date if things go well with this new guy. I'd say if you & your ex can't resolve anything..let go of the past, live the present & embrace the future! Of course I don't know what you and your ex has been through & it's always so much more harder done than said, but if this ex is tying you down & you feel it isnt right..It always feels good to realise to finally let go.

    Source(s): me
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  • 7 years ago

    me and my girlfriend are going through the same thing kinda except im the good looking guy she is dating and she she thinks her ex will change.....

    but the best advice i can give is that you think to yourself why the guy you might get back with is your ex in the first place and with your other ex's you said you were sexually attracted to them and felt as if they were perfect for you....and that alone is why you should give this guy a chance...because its hard to maintain a long and healthy relationship that will lead to marriage and a family when the person your with wasnt hard to fall in love with...because they was no work put in to start the relationship then it would be harder trying to stay together..but as for the other guy being with him would be work since your not already sexually attracted to him and feels like he isnt your have a happily ever after relationship you have to work for it not just decide this person is my parents have been married for almost 20 years and they didnt just fall in love truth is my mother didnt even love him for like the first year or two they were together but when she fell in love it made had times easier but they knew they could make it through anything together...i know its long but hope it helps

    Source(s): me :)
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  • Marina
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    If you weren't already in a relationship I'd say give this guy a chance if he asked you out. You might find that he becomes your type. However, you are in a relationship of some sort and it's unfair to date anyone on the rebound.

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  • 7 years ago

    The point of dating is to see or feel an attraction..

    so you don't have to love the person to date them. That is the point to get to know someone.

    Answer MINE:

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