Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureLanguages · 8 years ago

Can a english speaker correct my letter of motivation please?

Dear Sir or Madam,

The purpose of this letter is not only to describe my educational background, but also to attract your attention on how motivated I am to start a Master of Science programme in Sweden. My interest is mostly focused on Master Programmes, which are based on “Structural Engineering” but also include the field of “Sustainability in Building Design”. This is the reason I have chosen to apply for the Master’s Degree Programmes ****************************************… starting in autumn 2013.

Recently I have graduated from Democritus University of Thrace, where I have attended a five-year full-time Course, and been awarded with the Master of Science Degree in Civil Engineering (300 ECTS credits) with a grade point average of ****/10. During my period in college, I managed to gain knowledge in all the basic branches of Civil Engineering, such as Structural Engineering, Building Design, Geotechnical Engineering, Transportation Engineering, Hydraulic Engineering, Materials Science and Engineering, Earthquake Engineering, Environmental Engineering and Project Management. Due to my admiration for the analysis and design of large buildings and non-building structures, I decided to be specialized in Structural Engineering (Concrete Structures, Steel Structures, Building Design, Structural Dynamics, Structural Analysis). As a Civil Engineering Student my academic performance has been always outstanding, fact that can be proved not only by my transcript but also by the opinion my professors and my fellow students have about my engineering abilities. That was the reason why I was elected President of the Civil Engineering Class of ***********************. Furthermore, my deep interest for the environmental destruction and the percentage that building constructions contribute to it, gave me motivation about my research and my Master Thesis with title “***************************************… in which I ended up with the conclusion, that with a minimum increase in the financial budget of a building project, it can be achieved more than 30% lower energy consumption comparing with conventional buildings.

However, it is not only my experiences at Democritus University of Thrace that prove why i am suitable for a Master of Science program in Sweden. In April of 2012, I also applied and joined the Military School of Engineering, where I spend four months of training in military constructions, and in August 2012 I was nominated as Probationary Reserve Officer in Military Engineering. My studiousness and my test performances were the key factor for graduating first out of my class. The activity that made the best impression on me was the opportunity I had to construct with my bare hands heavy bridges like PMP Floating Bridge and Bailey Bridge. The size, the construction speed and the whole construction process were very enriching experiences for me. Moreover, in the Military School of Engineering I became aware of the capability of all the military construction equipment.

My educational Profile in both Democritus University of Thrace and Military School of Engineering is the result of a continuous effort that started in Middle and Senior High School. During that period of my life, I was rewarded for my merit and my academic performance several times. Every year I was awarded with the Certificate for Academic Excellence and Best Grades. Moreover, I was awarded three times with the Certificate for Excellence in the National Mathematic Competition “Thales” by the Hellenic Mathematical Society, one time with the Certificate “Tilemaxos I. Basbas” for Best Grades in Middle High School Graduation Exams in Rodopi Area and one time in “Lysias” Competition for being between the 450 top rated students among 15000. However, I consider my congratulation by the Minister of Education himself for being between the 300 students with the Best Grades all over Greece to be the most important moment in my whole life.

My firm belief is that “No education is complete without experience”. During the summer seasons of 2007 and 2008, armed with solid understanding of my theoretical education so far, I decided to work in ***************************, the largest construction company in the city of *********************, where I was assigned with the role of the assistant supervisor. Among the constructions I was responsible for were multi-storey buildings, roads and a concrete arch dam. My involvement with such projects gave me motivation and had great impact to me in order to deal with the field of Structural Engineering in the coming years.

2 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Recently I

    graduated from Democritus University of Thrace,

    where I attended a five-year full-time

    course, and

    WAS awarded

    A

    MASTER'S of Science Degree in Civil Engineering (300 ECTS credits) with a grade point average of ****/10. During my period in college, I managed to gain knowledge in all the basic branches of Civil Engineering, such as Structural Engineering, Building Design, Geotechnical Engineering, Transportation Engineering, Hydraulic Engineering, Materials Science and Engineering, Earthquake Engineering, Environmental Engineering and Project Management. Due to my admiration for the analysis and design of large buildings and non-building structures, I decided to

    SPECIALIZE in Structural Engineering (Concrete Structures, Steel Structures, Building Design, Structural Dynamics, Structural Analysis). As a Civil Engineering

    Student, my academic performance has been always outstanding,

    A fact that can be

    PROVEN not only by my transcript but also by the opinion my professors and my fellow students have about my engineering abilities. That was the reason why I was elected President of the Civil Engineering Class of ***********************. Furthermore, my deep interest

    for environmental destruction and the

    EXTENT TO WHICH building constructions

    ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS,

    MOTIVATED my research and my

    Master's Thesis,

    TITLED:

    “***************************************", in which

    MY CONCLUSION WAS that with a

    SMALL increase in the financial budget of a building

    project, more than

    A 30%

    REDUCTION IN energy consumption

    COULD BE ACHIEVED IN COMPARISON WITH

    conventional building

    PRACTICES.

    However, it is not only my experiences at Democritus University of Thrace that prove why

    I am suitable for a

    MASTER'S of Science

    programME in Sweden. In April of 2012, I also applied and joined the Military School of Engineering, where I

    spenT four months of training in military constructions, and in August

    2012, I was nominated

    FOR "Probationary Reserve Officer" in Military Engineering. My studiousness and my test performances were the key factor for graduating first

    IN my class. The activity that made the best impression on me was the opportunity I had to construct with my bare hands heavy bridges like PMP Floating Bridge and Bailey Bridge. The

    size, construction, speed, and the whole construction process were very enriching experiences for me. Moreover, in the Military School of

    Engineering, I became aware of the capability of all the military construction equipment.

    My educational Profile in both Democritus University of Thrace and Military School of Engineering is the result of a continuous effort that started in

    middle and

    senior high school. During that period of my life, I was rewarded for my merit and my academic performance several times. Every year I was awarded with the Certificate for Academic Excellence and Best Grades. Moreover, I was awarded three times with the Certificate for Excellence in the National Mathematic

    Competition, “Thales”, by the Hellenic Mathematical Society, one time with the

    Certificate, “Tilemaxos I. Basbas”, for Best Grades in middle high school graduation exams in

    the Rodopi REGION and one time in

    THE “Lysias” Competition for being

    AMONG the 450 top rated students

    OF 15000. However, I consider THE congratulation

    I RECEIVED FROM the Minister of Education himself for being

    AMONG the

    TOP 300 students

    IN Greece to be the most important moment in my whole life.

    My firm belief is that

    “no education is complete without experience”. During the

    summerS of 2007 and 2008, armed with

    A solid understanding of my theoretical education so far, I decided to work in ***************************, the largest construction company in the city of *********************, where I was assigned with the role

    of assistant supervisor. Among the constructions I was responsible for were multi-storey buildings,

    roads, and a concrete arch dam. My involvement with such projects gave me motivation and

    IMPETUS TO PURSUE the field of

    structural engineering.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    The purpose of this letter is not only to describe my educational background, but also to attract your attention on how motivated I am to start a Master of Science programme in Sweden. My interest is mostly focused on Master Programmes, which are based on “Structural Engineering” but also include the field of “Sustainability in Building Design”. This is the reason I have chosen to apply for the Master’s Degree Programmes ****************************************… starting in autumn 2013.

    Recently I have graduated from Democritus University of Thrace, where I have attended a five-year full-time course, and been awarded with the Master of Science Degree in Civil Engineering (300 ECTS credits) with a grade point average of ****/10. During my period in college, I managed to gain knowledge in all the basic branches of Civil Engineering, such as Structural Engineering, Building Design, Geo-technical Engineering, Transportation Engineering, Hydraulic Engineering, Materials Science and Engineering, Earthquake Engineering, Environmental Engineering and Project Management. Due to my admiration for the analysis and design of large buildings and non-building structures, I decided to specialize in Structural Engineering (Concrete Structures, Steel Structures, Building Design, Structural Dynamics, Structural Analysis). As a Civil Engineering student my academic performance has been always outstanding, fact that can be proved not only by my transcript but also by the opinion my professors and my fellow students have about my engineering abilities. That was the reason why I was elected President of the Civil Engineering Class of ***********************. Furthermore, my deep interest for the environmental destruction and the percentage that building constructions contribute to it, gave me motivation about my research and my master thesis with title “**************************************, in which I ended up with the conclusion, that with a minimum increase in the financial budget of a building project, it can be achieved using more than 30% lower energy consumption comparing with conventional buildings.

    However, it is not only my experiences at Democritus University of Thrace that prove why i am suitable for a master of Science program in Sweden, In April of 2012, I also applied and joined the Military School of Engineering, where I spend four months of training in military constructions, and in August 2012 I was nominated as Probationary Reserve Officer in Military Engineering. My studiousness and my test performances were the key factor for graduating first out of my class. The activity that made the best impression on me was the opportunity I had to construct with my bare hands heavy bridges like PMP Floating Bridge and Bailey Bridge. The size, the construction speed and the whole construction process were very enriching experiences for me. Moreover, in the Military School of Engineering I became aware of the capability of all the military construction equipment.

    My educational Profile in both Democritus University of Thrace and Military School of Engineering is the result of a continuous effort that started in middle and Senior High School. During that period of my life, I was rewarded for my merit and my academic performance several times. Every year I was awarded with the certificate for Academic Excellence and Best Grades. Moreover, I was awarded three times with the Certificate for Excellence in the National Mathematics Competition “Thales” by the Hellenic Mathematical Society, one time with the Certificate “Timex's I. Basbas” for Best Grades in Middle High School Graduation Exams in Rodopi Area and one time in “Lysias” Competition for being between the 450 top rated students among 15000. However, I consider my congratulation by the Minister of Education himself for being between the 300 students with the Best Grades all over Greece to be the most important moment in my whole life.

    My firm belief is that “No education is complete without experience”. During the summer seasons of 2007 and 2008, armed with solid understanding of my theoretical education so far, I decided to work in ***************************, the largest construction company in the city of *********************, where I was assigned with the role of the assistant supervisor. Among the constructions I was responsible for were multistory buildings, roads and a concrete arch dam. My involvement with such projects gave me motivation and had great impact to me in order to deal with the field of Structural Engineering in the coming years.

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