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What can be improved on this short poem? Racing Days?

Wooden bleachers,

chicken wire fences,big tires,

Hey,a bump,spin,crash,

maybe a deadly fire.

Ole sol,hamburgers,

french fries,also candy,

On Sundays,years ago,

the racing sure was dandy.

,,,tbo,,, bye...

8 Answers

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  • Iggy
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It was nice to go for a spin. Wheeeeee!

    I'm not sure what can be improved, there are so few words to remove, yet there I am and I can smell the petrol.

    Perhaps you could improve it by making this a set with other memories of youth. This would certainly make a good bookend for such a set.

    Thank you.

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  • 7 years ago

    At 17 I spent my weekends at the drag races,

    my boyfriend had a '72 Charger, did 11 seconds in 1/4 mile.

    Duel nitrous tanks gave him a boost

    went to the state finals, got beat by a Chevy

    heard about that for months

    the next year didn't place, went anyway

    there was that same Chevy, a Camaro,maybe '67?

    Anyway, the guy blew his engine in round two.

    My boyfriend was happy.

    Met Shirley Muldowney at the funny car drags, what a woman! Always loved the smell of the fuel and the busy pit crews, and the beers that the guys would buy for us minors...we would pour it in our pepsi cups then ditch the old pervs...LOL

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  • Thomas
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    The Bannibal One

    Very neat. Vivid, smelled burned rubber. Spilled soft drink from the idiot next to me....

    okay, he's not an idiot, just a fan.

    Not your typical poem, shorter, off the beaten path.

    Not kidding---had to be a judge of a beauty contest at one of these shin-digs. Only

    reason I said Yes is cause I knew what I was getting myself into, and these young

    ladies ended up not being my type, but they brought in the fans....cough..cough...

    men! Should have never done it but was single at the time...much younger..why the

    heck not? There is more beauty to behold besides a race car and all the condiments

    that come with the whole deal.

    You would do the same if you had a flyer of your poems outside one of these racing

    parks or stadiums, whatever you call em.

    Congrats Sire!

    ___________________________________________________________________

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Maybe make this a series as the gentleman suggested.

    Made me dizzy from the smoke and fumes.

    cheerio chap

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  • 7 years ago

    It can use a few more lines. I was just starting to get a mental image of such events. and then the poem suddenly ended.

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Nothing to be improved.

    It's cool daddio.

    Troxx

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  • 7 years ago

    Yes!

    Great reminder of the rash days

    of strong youth..made me hungryeeeeee > food.

    :)

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  • 7 years ago

    Chippewa County Fair is where you took me, 1975. Hadn't been there for a while. Thanks.

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