Does My Family Love Me?

my mom had me when she was 21 with i black guy that i dont even call my father. she had a miscarriage before me and it was a boy. my 'father' abused my mom a bit and threatened her a lot. my mom left and took me with her and now she has all custody over me. im half idian and half black, im wondering if my... show more my mom had me when she was 21 with i black guy that i dont even call my father. she had a miscarriage before me and it was a boy. my 'father' abused my mom a bit and threatened her a lot. my mom left and took me with her and now she has all custody over me. im half idian and half black, im wondering if my family loves me because it feels like i dont belong. that im not apart of the family, im the odd one out. sometimes i feel like i should just disapppear, its hard because sometimes it feels like my family has regret towards me or hates me for some reason. im always asked to clean all the time and cook sometimes. i barely get to see my friends whenever its the weekend or school holidays, i cant even sleep over sometimes. my little cousins dad went to india and im so jealous of him even thought he is 3, because he has a dad and i dont. i really want to see my dad and ask him why did he do all those things? its not fair, i may love my mom but theres somethings a mom cant do that a dad can. my mom works a lot, goes to the gym, and other things. so we hardly get to go to the movies, the mall maye once every 2 months, and a reastaurant evrey week or 2 weeks. and when we do have alone time, she is always on her phone talking to people about work. its always WORK WORK WORK! sometimes i just feel a resentment towards her as i think she feels some for me. i know that some people have it worse but i just cant help but feel this way.
i dont know what to do all i know is that im moving out when im 18 and i dont want to look back because i sometimes feel neglected.
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