Is the intro to my short story good? (: Be honest<3?

A Tragedy in San Herardo By Alex Galeana In the middle of the vast Sonoran desert stood a small, but blistering town called San Herardo. And in the middle of this small, but boisterous town called San Herardo lived a girl named Susanita and a boy named Jose... show more A Tragedy in San Herardo

By Alex Galeana

In the middle of the vast Sonoran desert stood a small, but blistering town called San Herardo. And in the middle of this small, but boisterous town called San Herardo lived a girl named Susanita and a boy named Jose Miguel. Other than living in the same town and going to the same school, Susanita and Jose Miguel were both polar opposites. Susanita was the local diputado’s daughter who was rich far beyond any of the other children, while Jose Miguel was the town’s poorest boy. Although Jose Miguel could afford no more than a loaf of bread per day, he was an extremely bright boy who spent his afternoons reading various books about a multitude of subjects. In contrast, Susanita was a spoiled brat who only cared about the materialistic aspects of life and learnt to love no one but herself. Ironically, while Jose Miguel was promised nothing more than a life of predestined poverty and limited success, Susanita, through a deal between her father and the town’s governante, was promised a life of luxury and even a say in the town’s political affairs in the near future. Although these two soon-to-be lovers had nothing in common, Jose Miguel fell in love with Susanita’s mysterious beauty and radiating aura. Every day, Jose Miguel would leave a white rose in Susanita’s front porch for her to pick up on her way to school. But in order to do so, Jose Miguel had to wake up an hour early, each morning, to drop off his rose and make it to school on time. Being the wealthiest girl in town, Susanita was forbidden to talk to a vagrant like Jose Miguel and constantly rejected his romantic advances. She even went as far as burning Jose Miguel’s roses in front of the entire school to make her intentions clear. Jose Miguel was not only crushed, but also ridiculed and bullied by all of his peers. His friends considered him a hopeless romantic and constantly discouraged him from pursuing Susanita. But Jose Miguel never lost hope and continued leaving more and more roses for his love – waiting for the day that she would realize how truly much he cared about her. Susanita was puzzled by Jose Miguel’s over-insistent behavior, but soon became accustomed to it. She found no remorse in throwing away any of his roses and even found pleasure in doing so.
Update: 1st answer: how so? (:
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