I'm beginning to be very concerned about my mental state?
My friends want to see me, but I find excuses not to go with them. When I do go out, all I can think of is returning home as soon as possible. I blame it on my fish, or find another lame excuse, but in reality I just want to be home and I don't know why.
I feel like a dog with a crate, that my room has become my "safe spot" and it disgusts me. Whats started scaring me recently is that I actually feel fear when I am outside my room. I can feel fingers snatching at my shirt and pant legs, I always imagine hands grabbing my ankles from underneath the bathroom stall. I don't like looking out windows, for fear of what I might see.
It even scares me to write this, because I can almost feel invisible fingers grabbing at me.
I've stopped taking care of myself, which used to be a serious thing for me. I no longer care how I look, and it makes me very sad.
I was never like this before, and I hate the way I feel now but I don't know what to do. I cry myself to sleep a lot, and sometimes its just too much to bear, but I don't know what "it" is or why I feel this way.