I need help in revising my answers for these NYU supplement questions…?

Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included).

~ Convenience and good education is what made me choose NYU New York. The campus itself is accessible to go to and from home and in other places in the city as I am already familiar with the area. As a daughter of an NYU graduate, I have learned that NYU not only offers great education but also offers great opportunities for students that are interested in the study abroad program.

A. NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

~ I chose the Gallatin School of Individualized Study because this program would allow me to construct my own major based on my interests. I may not have a definite major in mind, but because of this program I will choose classes that I believe I am strong in, such as in math. I may also take language classes as a minor for the program I chose.

B. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

~ Life beyond the world has always been intriguing to me. From what I have learned recently, there were not many technological advancements from the early forms of civilization to the past century. But early civilizations, and the years that came after, makes it seem like there are such advancements that existed. This makes me think about life outside our world that could be more advanced than us today and more intelligent. I'm not saying that other forms of extra-terrestrial beings exist, but human beings in another planet do. It doesn't really have significance in my life but it would be nice to know if they do exist. I'm sure we're not the only live beings in the only livable planet in our solar system.

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  • 8 years ago
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    "As a daughter..." etc. doesn't really describe why you chose the New York campus over Shanghai or Abu Dhabi. It just explains why you like NYU. The part above that is good though.

    The second answer (A) is alright, but maybe you should consider making it longer. Describe your academic interests like it says.

    This last answer (B) is the most confusing. In order of appearance:

    What are "technological advancements"? Give an example.

    "This makes me think..." sentence isn't grammatically correct. It should be "more advanced and intelligent..."

    Humans can't be "in" another planet. It's "on".

    Comma after "life" in second to the last sentence.

    Who is "they"?

    Overall, I think you are pretty good at grammar. Good luck on your application! I'm also applying to NYU.

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