How do you meet straight acting gay guys?

Not necessarily big masculine guys just guys who aren't walking around with purses and make up. It seems like the only out gay guys in my school are queens and I'm just not attracted to them. There's got to be at least one normal gay guy in my school or around where I live I just don't know how to find them. How do other guys meet guys that aren't obviously gay? How do you meet guys that might still be in the closet?

15 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, you know how they say that girls mature faster than boys, well, same holds true for feminine gay guys. It's a hard thing to hide so they come out first. The masculine ones wait until after school usually.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Hopefully your collage will have some kind of LGBT society or some kind of social club for gay/bi people. If they do (and they usually do) then go and speak to them, not only might some of the other memeber be exactly who you are looking for...but they will know all the best places to go. Most gay guys are "straight acting" they just don't stick out of the crowd so you won't notice them....but of course if he's in a gay bar/club then you know in advance he's either gay or he's a straight guy who's at a gay bar with a friend..either way it would still be safe to ask :P Hmmm you're probably in the states with the rather foolish drinking age... which is a shame, again the collage should be able to help. Good luck <3

  • schmig
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Boys Acting Gay

  • ?
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Straight acting gay guys? Those are bisexual guys. Because you act straight when you bang the opposite gender, not in your day to day mannerisms.

    Ok, I know what you mean. You aren't look for guys who are *GAY!* but guys who are [ssshhhgayhhh]. Those guys are the ones that are hardest to find, since they're the ones that are actively trying to not appear homosexual by not just avoiding all stereotypical behavior but actively or inactively lying by not correcting others that assume they're heterosexual.

    The only surefire method of making sure those guys know you're interested (and perhaps the best thing that could happen to this hypothetical closet case) is to just let ALL dudes know you're interested. Don't assume, like we all do at times, that every person you come across is straight. Not all gay and bi guys sneeze glitter. All gay and bi girls don't carry hammers on them at all times.

    Don't be creepy, that's good advice for all males of any sexuality. But don't be scared of friendly flirting, that's usually totally acceptable, and if it's not wanted then take the hint and be sheepishly platonic after that. And just a tip, since I'm not old but I'm getting past the point of being young, often those super obviously gay guys tone it down after they grow up a little. Most of us are lame as teenagers. In our early 20s we still kinda suck. We find an identity and wring the hell out of it until we find a balance that we're comfortable with.

    So don't be surprised if some of the screaming queens you know are hiding a love of FPS video games or football or classic cars that they become more comfortable with as they get older. Just like those "straight acting" gay guys eventually let themselves make more stereotypical gay jokes as they get more comfortable with people knowing they are not actually straight.

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  • 8 years ago

    I don't beleive that the term "straight acting" should be appealing to anyone because it only perpetuates self loathing and insecurity. By identifying as being attracted to someone who "acts straight," it implies that there is something undesirable about being gay, which you, as well as the men you seek, are. The term masculine may be more appropriate to use.

    This video further reiterates my point. --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcVljOGIdBg

    Youtube thumbnail

    You probably think that the only gay guys at your school are "queens" because the more feminine ones are far more noticeable and much easier to pick out in a crowd. All you can do to meet gay guys is to make more friends and determine their sexual orientation once you get to know them. Also, you may have better luck dating if you set your sights away from "straight" guys. You may find yourself attracted to an openly gay and maybe even somewhat feminine guy if you were more open to the idea. The best way to determine whether a guy is gay or not is to pay attention to where his eyes go. All people, regardless of sexuality or gender, will glance at an attractive person as they pass. While conversing with suspected homo, if a male passes and you notice that his glance follows him, then that can serve as an adequate indication that he fancies men. Pursuing a closeted guy may be detrimental to your self esteem. Keeping your relationship a secret can potentially be shame inducing for the both of you. Unless you are fully comfortable with your sexuality, it may be wiser to pursue a guy who is. If you are unsuccessful in finding a guy, that may not be a bad thing. You have your entire life ahead of you to fool around with guys and it won't be awful if you maybe have to wait to do it. I wish you the best of luck in all your future dating and I hope this was helpful.

  • 8 years ago

    My issues with your question is that you seem to want to find straight "acting" gay men, yet thats exactly what it is more often than not.. acting. Personally I'd prefer to be with or around gay men that are just themselves and love who they are. You're best bet is maybe a gay dating website or app, perhaps grindr? Also, in the future please dont hate on gay men that are more feminine :( how can the LGBT community ask for acceptances from other people when we cant even accept each other? Good luck hun!

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  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I'm straight acting and I'm fully gay -_-. but at the same time I would be the girl in a relationship, I can not stand those flamer gay guys it disgust me because they fall into the freaking stereo type of what the media makes gay guys out to be.

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