Going out of my mind and all i wana do is hurt myself! help?

protentially have bpd.. havent been diagnoised but been diagnosed with a personailty disorder whih one hasnt been identified as et but i no myself it is. any who... been having thoughts the last week or so about getting absolutly hammerd n stupidly drunk... i cut myself last week pretty bad needing bandages. n now... show more protentially have bpd.. havent been diagnoised but been diagnosed with a personailty disorder whih one hasnt been identified as et but i no myself it is. any who... been having thoughts the last week or so about getting absolutly hammerd n stupidly drunk... i cut myself last week pretty bad needing bandages. n now all i wana do is get drunk n harm myself as much as possible... my other half has got rid of all the boose in the house becuase he dont trust me wen at work) im having thoughts of legging it tonight with the last two bottles of wine (saved for xmas) drinkn them both then hangin myself .....i have two kids one 3 n theother 7 weeks... im going out of my mind i have my other half here but how can i tell him this n how can he help me? he cnt stay awake all night r the second he leaves me a lone for a second il b gone. theres nothing that has triggered me off to feel like this i just cant cope with how i feel everyday!! someone please help me i cnt deal with ll this and just want to end my life... i dont wna live no more! i have a tenacy do get drunk over dose self harm im very impusive.... im n meds bt they are only sertaline (zoloft)
Update: autumn - ur right as usual..... these thoughts i have (not necessarily acting upon them.. e.g hanging myself) scare me and i duno y i av these thoughts,,, its like now i dont feel to bad it just comes on suddenly and im scared tht i will act upon it sometyms i do n sumtyms i dont, just trying to remain strong, i am... show more autumn - ur right as usual..... these thoughts i have (not necessarily acting upon them.. e.g hanging myself) scare me and i duno y i av these thoughts,,, its like now i dont feel to bad it just comes on suddenly and im scared tht i will act upon it sometyms i do n sumtyms i dont, just trying to remain strong, i am seeing psychiatrsit, gp and being refered to a psychologist as well now... as i have thingsin my past which has made me b how i am today. as usual autumn u r a great help n i do listen to wat u say.... n do help me. i no eventually i will recover from this atm im going forward n then takin two steps bck, but each time i go back makes me more determind to beat this!
5 answers 5