Yeah, I'm a single mom and I can't take it anymore ?
I've got no family or friends and I'm in RN school, I've got 8 weeks left and a break for x-mas but I feel like I'm going to snap the only babysitter I've got (I'm a single mom) is my best friend who's whole family hates me I'm not even allowed in their house my friend won't stick up for me n 2nite I picked up my son and he was mad n flipped me off after we got into an argument I drove off and flew into a rage screaming I never wanted to see him again which I don't but I've got no1 else to babysit right now.. I take Valium but its not helping. I'm 26 yrs old my son is. 4 and he's autistic I'm so stressed out I hate dropping him off w/ ppl that disrespect me but I feel like I've gotta suck it up n deal with it.. But it's not working so well I cry for no reason get angry and I'm really lonely and sad I lost my ENTIRE family from drug overdoses when I was younger around this time of year, my dad when I was 18 on nov 15 of 2004 my mom when I was 13 on dec 5th of 1999 my 28 yr old brother on feb24th 4 yrs ago and my 34 yr old brother two years ago all overdoses I think about it a lot I cry a lot I've got bad dreams I feel isolated and alone and worthless and unloved every single day lately they have been haunting me idk if I'm going nuts or what I should do anymore Idk if this is PTSD or I'm just nuts I've been having outbursts of rage a lot lately I'm beginning to wonder y I'm even going to school anyways no1 will ever love me mo1 ever did. I see a therapist for emdr but we haven't started it yet. Idk what to do about the babysitting thing myself etc
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, my friend. I am impressed you are able to go to school at all. God bless you. Are there any social workers you can visit thru your school? What about local churches? How about calling a specialist in autism? Maybe they can put u in touch with some resources to assist in the care of your son. Even if u don't think the church or ageny has the resources u need maybe they can steer u in the right direction. Children are wonderful but being a parent or caretaker is one of the hardest things to do in life. Doing it all alone with no support system is almost impossible. You have been thru some horrible things in your young life. Your son picks up on your depression and anger and that's why he acts out. Its not that he doesn't love u. Don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help from people. As much as it sucks u need to reach out and find a way thru this for yourself and your son. He's only 4. Go to him and tell him u didn't mean what you said. Little boys need their mommy and you don't want him to grow up feeling all alone like you.
I really feel for u bc I have 3 young children and even tho I'm married my husband is never around for various reasons. I have no family nearby to help and we have money problems so no sitters. There have been days when I just want to run away and get away from the kids but I can't go anywhere and have felt so trapped. I have cried on my knees and prayed to God for relief! I have yelled like a crazy woman at my children and said some terrible things but I made it a point to swallow my pride and apologize to them and tell them that I love them and shouldn't behave that way and will try harder to be better.
As for someone loving you someday - u need to love yourself first. Sounds like and Oprah show but its true. If u are miserable and unhappy that's what others pick up on and the kind of person u will attract won't be someone that deserves you and respects you. You need to truly believe that you are worthwhile and loveable!!
I'm rambling bc I really don't know how to help u but I can sense your desperation in your post and I wish I could do more. Keep doing the best you can and reach out to others for help.Turn to God and pray, pray, pray for fortitude and guidance.Good luck and God bless. DON'T GIVE UP!!
- 8 years ago
Hook up with the first guy u see