Kay asked in HealthMental Health · 8 years ago

Just need to get a few things off my chest. Read if you want?

Ok im currently 13 and 5'4 and 13olbs. Im active in soccer.(Been playing 9 years)

Iv been in a constant battle with my depression and anxiety.

Iv had it since i was 10, and around their i became so tire dof everyone, so tired of life. It was my darkest point of my life, and i havent lived that long. I began getting in fights with my parents and just becoming a dark person, who didnt know of anything of negativity. My parents were honestly awful at times. My 8 year old sister told my dad she gets sad watching me cry in my room cause she can hear me. That made me want to change. I began to get confident again, but then middle school hit. 6th grade was ok for me, but i was pretty short an a little chubby but happy. i got called a few words that whole year. Then 7th grade came along. My depression kicked in even more, and my anxiety was even worse. I didnt want to get up in fear of that id give anyone an opputunity to make fun of me. That year i was mentally destryoed. i was put into an 8th grade math help class and whenever i went their i was made fun of. One of the worst experiences was just walking in my seat when an older boy said oh look theres a blue whale. a whale. That drove me to the edge. i cried everynight. pulled my hair out and didnt want to go outside. My mom was getting sick of me, so she made me go to a therapist. I couldnt talk about any of those name without crying. I was also called ugly repeatvly. i coldnt talk about it, so i stopped going. Then i joined the school soccer team. i got my favorite number and everything. i forgot my binder in the library so as i got it and went to walk back an older class began to holler at me saying " Oh hey ugly nice jersey. why dont i have a number and someone like you does' and oh look at her. I couldnt look people in the eye anymore. i lost all self-confidence completly. i felt like a walking zombie. always tired, always tired. i had an emotional breakdown and cut twice. i still have scars but i never did it again. summer before 8th grade is where my life changed, my dad said i was overweight, and fat, and that i was gonna get bigger. Though it stung i took it to heart and well, stopped eating. i lost about 30 pounds in 4 weeks. yeah not good. i was losing energy and always tired. i knew i shouldnt be like this, so i began to eat. i also grew alot that year, and got alot more comfortable with myself. i knew i wasnt a twig. i had a butt and boobs, so i stopped trying to prove i could be a twig and just was me. I began to get boys attention(: got my first real boyfriend, and he called me beautiful every day. he was amazing. we broke up, but it was for the best, were just ayoung. People still talk about me, negitvaly and postivly but i learned life is to short to be sad. People will always talk but i dont have to listen. Im focusing on the future and on my friends and family.(:

-My battle with depression and anxiety.

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow your story is so inspirational! i'm so happy you got better.

    GOOD JOB!!!!!

    Soca S.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    You've inspired me to be better. I have similar stories except I was skinny (still am) instead of fat,

    Imma try to gain that weight (I'm 5'3 and 85lbs) the average is about 115ish

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