Alexa asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 years ago

I don't like people anymore, any suggestions?

I never really had friends when I was younger. I'm not sure why... I've always been nice and my standards are definitely not too high. I'm also not shy. I'll talk to people in my school but no one seems to want to talk to me or become friends, they tend to choose other people. In middle school and part of high school, I got over it. Now that I'm a junior I'm starting to really not like people. I feel like I've had it trying to make friends. I'm starting not to even like my family. I love them but I always want to be by myself or with my dog. School is so boring to me because I have no friends and I can't wait to come home and sleep, eat, and see my dog.

I feel like my dog is my best friend and that I can always trust her to help me when I'm feeling down. She's all I ever think about and I like to just be around her. Lately, I've just been wanting to sleep all day and eat. I've been eating so much and gaining weight like crazy. I've gained 40 pounds already.

Do you have any suggestions? I don't like being like this, but I can't help it! It has gotten worse in the past 6-8 months.

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    People can be quite fickle with why they don't give someone a chance. It could be who your parents are, who your siblings are, your clothes, your hair, your body, your hobbies, your skin, your sexual orientation...anything. And the trouble is that people don't always tell you why, unless they are mean and make fun. And sometimes, people may not like people because they're too honest, or too ordinary, etc. It would just be so much simpler if people told people why they didn't like them, instead of keeping them guessing or thinking that there's hope of belonging.

    You are so young, and I would hate for the time now to color the rest of your life. And I would count your blessings if you are ignored versus singled out to be insulted. And know that the world is not high school. The world is huge, and if you feel as you do and are who you are, there has got to be at least 1 person in it who is similar to you. Luckily, with the internet, gaps can be bridged to bring people together so that they don't have to feel so alone.

    I suggest that you focus on getting yourself as stable and grounded as you can. If you can get through this time finding grounding in your self-worth, you will be so much stronger for the world at large; nothing will be able to deter you. Understand who you are now, faults, strengths. Think about the things that you like to do or might like to do, and do them. Don't think about being good or bad, just keep busy doing things and eventually, your thoughts and judgments will drift. Maybe learn guitar, crochet, run, walk, volunteer at the Animal Shelter (I did that.). Start a blog. Try a language cd or take an online class. They have those here via top universities: https://www.edx.org/

    If you live in a rural, suburban, or metropolitan area, that can affect what activities that you can do. But try to see what groups or social activities are available in your community. And if I recall correctly, community college courses are now available to high school students. Also, maybe you can apply for a semester abroad or an exchange program in a different country...I tried to do that, and my parents said "no" when I was your age. That could have helped me so much to avoid depression, as I had never been anywhere but our limited suburban town.

    But I'm glad that you have your dog. :-) I'm sure that she feels very loved by you. You can take her for walks, maybe even find a new park for a change of scenery. Getting out and enjoying nature, breathing fresh air is so rejuvenating and you've got a canine friend to do that with.

    I thought that I needed other people to be happy, but I have realized in my adulthood that people cause me more pain than happiness, so I need to live my life in a way as to not emphasize my interactions with others, rather activities and not people. But I've been frustrated that I can have good times and not hear from people. Or be completely bothered by people and yet they want to spend time with me. Or I can open up about my thoughts and opinions and be ignored, dismissed, or avoided. It's a lot easier to be outcasted than accepted, and some people just have a knack for knowing how to navigate people and be one of the group.

    But whether is now, or 20 years later, don't put a timeline for being the person that you wish your were, with friends, etc. Understand that it might take time to find the right people, but that they don't come when you look for them; they come when you happen upon them. But you need to do things, to live, in order to allow those possibilities to happen. I didn't make my first "real" friend until I was 28.

    And if you don't like people and remain that way, that's ok. As long as you don't hate them. You can just not make people the main focus of what you think makes life worthwhile. And also, maybe that gives you the makings of being a veterinarian, or a teacher, or a volunteer to work with people who have disabilities. Animals aren't as judgmental and fickle as humans. Young children are more accepting than older kids and adults. And people with disabilities, such as being mentally challenged, are often open-minded and childlike and lack those prejudices that other people have.

    But know that you're not alone, and there is a work around as long as you don't give up. Food isn't all it's cracked up to be. ;-) Every time that you want an extra snack or helping, stop, and do an activity instead or read, etc.

  • 8 years ago

    I feel I can relate to you, because you are NOT alone, there are people here on Earth who's sole purpose is to be an example. It seems as if you have been around nothing but fools and pure "examples" of what not to do to others. You are an introverted individual judging from what you've written thus far and sometimes we introverted people had difficulty befriending others, no biggy. My only major suggestion and direct solution to your issue would be:

    1. If you enjoy maybe a particular sport is activity, seek groups in your neighborhood that have activities you enjoy doing and you can meet others just like you

    2. Begin writing a diary entry. Many writers (famous writers) were very misunderstood as kids and even young adults but writing is by far one of the BEST escapes I can think of... You never know, there could be soo many people out there going through similar situations as you. TaKe for example, Me. I totallyyyyyyy understand you, and find you to be a normal girl, you're just not a people person and there's NOTHING wrong with that. In fact, many celebrities such as Rihanna, Lindsay Lohan, and soooo many others but ppl still love them and I'm sure there are ppl who find you to be a pretty damn cool chick but have not said so. Girllll you perfectly fine the way you are, you be the best damn Alexander you can be. Hope this made things a bit easier

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Good Will Hunting is the primary person who popped into my head... The Shawshank Redemption is among the first-rate films of all time individually. Doubt I additionally suggestion was once AMAZING. What Dreams May Come The Game Inception Moon Mystic River The Butterfly Effect 2012 The Pianist Gandhi The Sixth Sense The Fountain Lucky Number Slevin The Prestige Seven Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Clockwork Orange The Curious Case of Benjimin Button Oldboy ...I would actually cross on endlessly, I love those films. Good Luck!!

  • 8 years ago

    Many classic symptoms of depression, at least get seen by a shrink once, if you can, otherwise there are many thing you can do at home to help combat depression, all of which are easily researched on the internet. Best three are eat right, fix your sleep schedule, and try to get a little exercise.

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