Boyfriend wants a threesome, any advice?

We are both 20 and have been together for nearly 9 months. He joked around a few days ago about a threesome because we were discussing fantasies. Instead of letting it go, I poked at the idea for awhile. We talked more about it, like, what would be the terms. He told me that he is determined to have a threesome. It is on his bucket list, and he is determined to have one eventually. I told him it has to be with another guy, and he didn't like the idea but said ok if it's what I want. I honestly would rather have another girl =P, if anything. Any advice? I would like some Pro-threesome answers, and anti-threesome answers. I love this guy and I don't want to have a threesome, I'm not 100% against it. I'm young, and imagine it is a once in a lifetime experience.

9 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you don't want to do it, don't let him pressure you into it, but you know, YOLO.

    lol I can't really tell you what to do, but don't let him force you into anything.

  • 8 years ago

    Hi Unknown,

    I believe you are at the very early stages of the discussion and a lot can change. The one red flag is see is the quid pro quo stance the two of you might be consider, mfm for fmf. This can be a very damaging position to take since it can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and conflict. Instead I would nudge you towards the mfm.

    Reason why I would nudge you towards a mfm, to begin with it can be completely straight with no male on male interaction for your boyfriend. Second reason they are, generally speaking, much easier and quicker to set up. Third reason, generally speaking, they can be less emotionally involved and less chance the male will become a "third wheel." This means a mfm can take less time to arrange and have less involvement than the fmf.

    My advice is to continue talking about the idea, do not worry if it is going to happen, and talk through any concerns that come up. The more communicating the two of you can do the better your chances will be for an enjoyable threesome.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Do it. Just do it don't think about it and make it all complicated. It has to have two girls though. And if you do have the threesome then that'll show him how much of a cool gf you are. And you don't have much to worry about because if you do say yes and you do find another girl hell either have no idea what to do with both of you or he'll pay more attention to you. Simple.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    "I love this guy and I don't want to have a threesome, I'm not 100% against it"

    Wait...what? Do you want to do it or not...?

    Either you do or you don't. If you honestly don't feel comfortable doing it, then don't. If you do, enjoy yourself.

    But if you're here asking total strangers, then that probably means you really don't want to.

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  • 8 years ago

    i think everyone should experience what they want to experience as long as they feel comfortable with it.

    so if you do, then you should do it. and if its with another guy you also dont need to be jealous or sth of another girl sleeping with your bf (i think that was my biggest worry).

    ok, so this guy should be someone you both know and doesnt have a gf (except shes ok with him having sex with another couple). you dont need to be best friends with him (maybe even shouldnt be because thats just trouble in my opinion) but you should know him good enough so you know hes no weirdo or has herpes or sth... :D

    and now the most important thing: if you then actually have sex with this other guy and your bf then try to balance the amount of "things" you give to both of them. if you give to much to your bf, the other guy will feel left out and uncomfortable, but if you give too much to him your bf will feel left out and prob get jealous.

    good luck and enjoy :D

    Source(s): i had a threesome (with another girl) and it was AWESOME haha
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Don't do it. Its a very popular male sexual fantasy, but its doesn't work in a relationship. Its all about lust and it will make your relationship uncomfortable.

    People will get jealous, and he will assume that you're both bisexual and ask you to do things you're not comfortable with. You'll probably also be hurt by seieng him have sex with another girl right infront of you if you care about him. You will get jealous and you'll start to mistrust him.

    Even if "logically" you talk it over, relationships arnt logical they're all about emotional and it will upset you, no matter how much you try to reason it out.

  • Dylan
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    Tell him you honestly don't want a threesome.

  • Craig
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    He's bisexual if he's down to have a 3some with another guy and you. I wouldn't let another guy touch my girl if I was dating her, call me overprotective.

  • Arturo
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    you are an awesome girlfriend! last time i mentioned this to my girl, she ignored me for 5 days, lol.

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