yuikwong asked in 社會及文化語言 · 8 years ago

英文-批改3小段內容

請指出當中的文法錯誤及語句不通等問題.謝謝

The most important to realize is that the existence of PE lessons make student better concentrated on study. Hundreds of thousands of students claim that the large amount of homework and long learning time bring tremendous pressure.Experts pointed out that pressure would reduce one’s ability on concentration and working efficiency. Therefore, study other academic subjects instead of PE lesson is not a good way to help student.

On the other hand, working out can ease stress. Scientist said that, when doing sports, endorphin was secreted by endocrine system, endorphin just like painkiller and it can make human thrilled. As a result, student can have fun and stress was eased by exercising during PE lesson.As the stress goes away, students can more concentrate on academic subjects certainly.

In conclusion, the elimination of Physical Education, its disadvantages outweigh its advantages. I suggest we should reconsider or cancel this proposal.

此為之前發問的問題:http://hk.knowledge.yahoo.com/question/question?qi...

2 Answers

Rating
  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The most important point to realize is [] the need for PE lessons to make student better concentrated on study.[這改寫作主觀一針見血的寫法 – the existence of不單文法上有點跟句子錯配,亦給人一種被動意識,跟這篇是論文不太協調] Hundreds of thousands of students claim that the large amount of homework and long studying time bring tremendous pressure. Experts pointed out that pressure would reduce one’s ability to concentrate and work efficiently. Therefore, replacing PE lesson is not a good way to help student.

    [用錯On the other hand作為轉-因為由開始至這裏你都是表達同一方向-it is still “this hand” – 這段是特別引證如何/為何運動會幫助學生]Specifically, working out can ease stress. Scientist said that, when doing sports, endorphin was secreted by endocrine system, endorphin just like painkiller and it can make human thrilled. As a result, student can have fun and feel good about themselves, thus stress was eased [不用太累贅了] during PE lesson. As [] stress goes away, students can * concentrate more on academic subjects for sure. [如果你仍想比較formal地寫certainly便要放在*位置]

    In conclusion, disadvantages of the elimination of Physical Education outweigh its advantages. I suggest we should reconsider or cancel this proposal.[這裏只是按你的排敘來修改,如果按全篇的主題重寫應該是:The elimination of Physical Education has little or no advantages.]

  • 8 years ago

    The most important to realize is that the existence of PE lessons makes student better concentrated on study. Hundreds of thousands of students claim that the large amount of homework and long learning time bring tremendous pressure. Experts pointed out that pressure would reduce one’s ability on concentration and working efficiency. Therefore, studying other academic subjects instead of PE lesson is not a good way to help student.

    On the other hand, working out can ease stress. Scientist said that, when doing sports, endorphin was secreted by endocrine system, endorphin is just like painkiller and it can make human thrilled. As a result, student can have fun and stress was eased by exercising during PE lesson. As the stress goes away, students can be more concentrate on academic subjects certainly.

    In conclusion, the elimination of Physical Education, its disadvantages outweigh its advantages. I suggest we should reconsider or cancel this proposal.

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