Sorry for your loss.
Many people wonder how long it takes to start feeling better. The answer is that it takes as long as it takes. Don't try to speed it up artificially. Your mind needs time to grieve and heal. But, I promise you it does get better.
There are all kinds of theories about what happens after we die. Most people either accept the mainstream religious views or believe that death is the end. I don't subscribe to either.
Our reality consists of two parts: physical reality and mental constructs. Mental constructs are ideas that do not exist in physical reality like right and wrong, good and evil, truth, ownership, religion, politics, love and hate, and racism. None of these things exist outside our minds.
For example, money is just an idea. No other creature on the planet exchanges currency. Money has not always been a part of humanity. We survived just fine before it was created and we will thrive again after we abolish it. But what is significant about how ideas form our reality is that nature did not create money. Money serves no biological or ecological function in our reality it is just an "idea."
Our minds are the most powerful things in the universe. We experience reality - - reality does not experience us and therefore energy, matter, space, and time do not have to be substance. That the universe "could" exist if you did not is irrelevant. That the universe exists for you because you perceive it is irrefutable.
Why do some people want you to believe that you are the product of the universe or a deity? Because giving supremacy to concepts like gods and evolution devalues your individual experience of consciousness. That realization that you exist is the most valuable possession that you have and reason is the only tool you have which can help you explore reality. Try not to let religious dogma, superstition, or the ancient ideas and fears about death close your mind to other possibilities. The fact is that being human is only an idea to our consciousness and so is life and death.