Is it normal for a gay guy to like a girl?
I'm 16 and I have no physical attraction to girls. But my best friend is so special. I want to be with her. Not sexually of course but I feel like I could be with her. She's everything anybody could ever want but nobody treats her like they should. She was texting me today about how she can't find anybody who will treat her right and I just wanted to say "what about me! I've been here all along and I love you so much!" But I couldn't. It'd be to confusing to everybody. I told her that I could be straight for her but she hasn't been very serious about it which is understandable. I don't know how I could seriously admit to her that I do want to be with her. And it'd be so hard! There would be like no sex unless she wanted it and then I would do...that with her. But we're both so sexually driven the idea of a non sexual relationship seems weird. It seems like it would make so many problems. How would I explain this to everybody? Especially my parents. And how would I even be able to tell her? And do I even want this? How could I want this? This goes against everything I've ever known about my own sexuality and ability to have romantic connections. What should I do? Keep it to myself? Tell her? Should we try this if she even wants to?
- DaveKLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
You're such a great friend! You saying you could be straight for her, is a crock dude. You'd be lying to yourself AND her. You know it and if she's as close to you as you say......she would see right through any kind of a "further" relationship and probably get p=ssed at you, thinking it a pity type of thing. She sounds like a great lady and your job is to beat that into her brain. There's someone out there for you........and there's someone out there for her.
- Aoh OahLv 68 years ago
in my opinion... love knows no gender or sexuality... she's some1 special to u...
now... the question is... would it actually work?
here are a few things u really need to consider...
do u wanna have sex with her? really? u said u don't see urself being with her sexually... that u would do it if she asks u to... but... if all u want is a romantic relationship with her, and no sex at all.. what makes u think that u are actually in love with her? do u really think so? that u r really in love with her? i mean...first of all... look at asexual people... they crave for relationships, they wanna be in a relationship... they don't crave for sex... so u could be in a similar situation with her where u r really in love with her, but u don't want a sexual relationship... BUT.... ask urself... how is ur love for her any different than a love of parents/siblings/friends? while i understand that u may really be in love with her, and not crave for sex at all... u and her both are sexual beings... u both enjoy it, so... r u sure u can't be satisfied with a pure and beautiful friendship?
another thing that u have to consider... u guys are best friends... relationships don't always work out... what happens if u guys break up? r u willing to pursue ur feelings for her and risk a break up ruin ur friendship? often when best friends engage in a relationship... the relationship's dynamics change... u aren't going to tell each other everything, if either of u are a jealous person... jealousy can eat u up and it can deteriorate the relationship...
now... sex isn't everything... it's common that in relationships the sex life goes down among couple... some people after being in a relationship for x amount of time, they start having sex less and less frequently...so who knows a sexless life could work
check out these tyra clip of a gay guy marrying a straight woman
they seem to be relatively happy, they said that they have an open relationship (where mostly the female is with other guys) and i think it is towards the end of the interview, i'm not sure.. but tyra asks the guy if he would suggest other gay men to marry a woman... he said he wouldn't really suggest it... i think the reason it works it's cuz, they love each other + they have sex + they have sex with other people -at least YOU love her... not sure how much she might love u...she might only view u as a friend
honestly... i don't think that u have to have sex with every1 that u love, i.e. friends, family, crushes... and that u guys can simply remain best friends and have a great friendship... u can both live ur lives being there for each other, and finding true love in other people... even if they say they are happy... i honestly don't really believe that they are satisfied.. least of all the guy... when i saw those clips -a while ago- i don't remember much of it ,but on several parts i thought that the guy wasn't as satisfied as the woman...
whatever the case... i wish u luck .. whether u guys decide to stay friends, or if u go into some crazy relationship... best of lucks
- tas211Lv 68 years ago
NORMAL....I hate that word. I think it should be stricken from our dictionary. What is NORMAL for one person is ABNORMAL for another. We are ALL "NORMAL" and "ABNORMAL". We are each unique and individualistic. That being said, I have made the mistake of trying to force a FRIENDSHIP into being something more and it turned into a disaster and ruined the friendship. What you have with this girl is a very very close friendship and friends like that are hard to come by. You are right to charish such a friendship but trying to force it into being something it's not would be a huge mistake.
(Not to mention that even what is NORMAL for you changes. NORMAL can change in an instant, in a nano second. For instance, I used to work for a computer distributor so going to work there every morning was NORMAL. But then I got laid off and going there every morning would have been ABNORMAL and pretty creepy on my part.)
- 8 years ago
I'm not in your head, but I honestly think you are confusing your feelings toward her. Not all forms of love are romantic....I think you are a very compassionate person and when you find the right guy for you, you will find out the difference. I feel this way toward people that I would NEVER think of in a sexual manner. I feel that they deserve the best, and hate to see them hurt. I want to be with them all the time. But like I said, it is a different form of love. Maybe we are part of the lucky few that experience it :)Source(s): My own self.
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- Anonymous8 years ago
Look, think about it this way, imagine having sex with her, if you like it, you're bi, if you find that gross, you're gay. You just have friendship feelings with her. Gay guys dont like girls, What is the definition of homosexuality? Exactly.
- 8 years ago
No it is not normal Gay means to like the same gender since your a guy that would make you bisexual