Are these things verbal or emotional abuse or not even abuse?

Are these verbal emotional or not even abuse, if not what are they considered. Please done be mean,I need help.

Lying. Only doing activities with you that sound fun to them rather than just to spend time together or because you enjoy the activity. Agreeing with what you say just to shut you up. Breaking promises. And I have to give an example for this cause I can't really explain without an example but awhile ago he had said something that hurt me so I asked recently if he felt that way. He said no so I reminded him that he had said it before and he then turned around and said he felt that way. Then he told me that when I ask he tells the truth then if I don't believe him he just agrees (even of it hurts me or gets him in trouble) to get it over with. This is the form of deception that I mean when I say he's deceptive. Whether he was telling the truth by saying that or just getting out of it its still deceptive. By the way he has never threatened me, isolated me, harmed me or yelled at me so im not in danger.

4 Answers

  • rackio
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    The activity thing is selfish, the agreeing with you bit well if he always tells you the truth the first time even if it gets him in trouble well beleive him. Don't argue the point or disbelieve him as well what's the point in him arguing when he's already told you the truth.... Non of what you've described is abuse

  • Tal
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    i think the real victim of abuse is ... him. his behavior towards you is passive aggressive - learned survival tactics/strategies to avoid confrontation and conflict. and the abuser possibly being his parents. we are not born liars. we learn to lie because the consequences of telling the truth are more painful. he needs to learn, over time, new behaviors ... that of open communication. and you need to learn acceptance, patience and listening with an open heart . he needs to know the communicating thoughts and feelings openly will not get him reprimanded or in trouble. but rather, his thoughts and feelings will be accepted by the listener with equanimity and no judgement. i know thats a tall order. and it will take a lot of patience and effort on your part, and time. don't impose anything on him. don't force him to spend time with you. don't make him feel guilty about not spending time with you. don't make him feel guilty about his choices (or passive-aggressive non-choices). don't make him feel guilty about lying to you. rather, seek to understand why and what he fears. as if you were his counselor or psychiatrist or just a good friend. nevermind the things you don't share together, focus on what you do share and enjoy together.

  • Mmmm
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Why would you choose to be with someone who behaves like this with you? Lying is deceptive, not abusive.

    Also, you can't change him because he is responsible for his behaviour but you can change how you decide to react towards him because you are responsible for your reaction to his behaviour. If you choose to stay with him knowing that he's a liar, you're allowing him to carry on lying to you (so it's like saying that you accept his behaviour).

    I hope this helps!

    Source(s): I'm the source! Using my knowledge from life experience and as a professional Life Coach, Personal Development Coach and Reiki Master.
  • Pelvis
    Lv 6
    8 years ago

    I wouldn't say it is abuse as everybody does these things. He is just being very selfish and arrogant.

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