Kenny asked in 社會及文化語言 · 7 years ago

please help me to edit

When Peter was born, his mum has abandoned him. Later, a man found Peter was in the rubbish bin. So, he takes care of him. The day after, he gave him an abbreviation. When, Peter was five. His abdomen was big and he has ability to go toilet. One month later, the man took him to aboard. When they got to aboard on the ship they were living above the engine room. Abrupt he found a man absolute abolish a man able. When they arrived, his dad has fallen to the water. Peter has saved him but the clothes has absorbed. So there clothes look ugly. They arrived the bus stop suddenly, an absurd man has come out and abused Peter and the man accent was very different. When Peter went to academic, he has accepted the prize. Why he can has the prize because has some has thought some accidentally to help him. When the man died, peter were very sad but he accidentally saw his mum hear the river so she accommodated to live with his mum.

my school need me to write a story. please help me to correct

2 Answers

Rating
  • YIP
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    When Peter was born and then his mother abandoned him. Later on, a man found him down the lane in rubbish bin and took care of him. The day after, he gave him a nickname as Pet. When at the age of 5, Peter had grown up with the ability to look after himself . One month later, the man took him to go aboard. When they embarked the ship and were living above the engine room. Suddenly he found his father who was also on board the ship. When they arrived and found that his father had fallen into the sea then Peter come to the rescue but all of their clothes got wet. As the result, their dress looked ugly. When they arrived the bus stop, suddenly, an absurd man came out and use abusive language to Peter with a very peculiar accent. When Peter went to attend school, he was given the prize. Why he could receive the prize because some people thought that someone might be responsible. When the man died, peter were very sad but he accidentally found his mother near the bank of the river and finally he lived with her.

    Source(s): Partly according to ”The Advanced Learner's Dictionary of Current English with Chinese Transl ation” by Hongkong Oxford University Press1975
  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    7 years ago

    When Peter was born, his mother [] abandoned him. [] A man found Peter [] in the rubbish bin. So, he took care of him. [The day after, he gave him an abbreviation.][這句完全不明白?給peter一個簡(縮)寫?你想講「小名」「花名」「乳名」「代號」?] When, Peter was five, his abdomen was big and he has ability to go toilet.[這句不明白:他肚子大跟他能夠去廁所有何關係又跟他五歲有甚麼特性…你好像說他五歲前從來不會去廁所…] One month later, the man took him [] aboard. When they got [] on the ship they lived above the engine room. [Abrupt he found a man absolute abolish a man able.][這句講乜?我用中文字代入英文句都解唔到sorry!] When they arrived (where), his dad had fallen to the water. Peter [] saved him but the clothes was soaked.[我估你意思是(吸)濕滿了水] So their clothes looked ugly. They arrived the bus stop [suddenly],[他們arrived在那裏?你是巴士突然停下bus stopped suddently(他們在巴士上)還是他們到逹一個巴士站bus stop就不會suddenly啦] an absurd-looking man came out and abused Peter and the man accent(口音?) was very different from his[或寫出怎樣different]. When Peter went to [academic] [academic是形容詞或指學術界 – 你意思是他成為學者?became a professor?], he [] accepted the prize.[奬項與前句冇關的…他得甚麼奬?六合彩?] Why he got the prize because [] someone (who?) accidentally [] helped him. When the man died, Peter was very sad but then he accidentally saw his mum near the river [where did the river come from?] so he went to live with his mum.

    2012-11-30 14:30:48 補充:

    sorry係分段大綱

    Source(s): 太多混亂的情節啦-先設好一個分段大剛才寫吧
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