Please revise! Need to be done my tomorrow. UC application prompt 2?

The UC personal statement prompt #1 states, "Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

I am an ambitious scholar. I work persistently on my academics, I hold leadership positions in numerous clubs, and I volunteer for my community quite often. I believe I have an amazing gift. While at first it may seem I am referring to my Education, the gift I am talking about is actually much more noteworthy and that is my happiness.

I walk with a bounce in my step and an enthusiastic smile on my face. My fellow peers have grown accustomed to my flashing grin and quick greetings as we make eye contact walking down the halls. Friends have asked me time and time again the secret to my perpetual smile. There is no secret, once you put everything that’s important first you will always have time to do the little unimportant things, making your life much more easier to cope with.

My dreams and aspirations is what makes me who iam today and living in a neighborhood where you hear police sirens everyday is what truly has inspires me. As a older brother to my younger sister, it is my responsibility to be a role model and overall a teacher to her. I will in fact be the first generation in my family to graduate high school and also attend any university. Going to a college atmosphere is my first step in doing so.

After four years of high school I have become more determined, diligent, and committed. I have acquired lessons taught through tough and painful experiences that have only taught me to persevere and aided me in the transformation from a reject to a five star leader. Furthermore, these lessons have gave me the skills to have a tendency to work hard in anything that I wish to accomplish in life.

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  • 8 years ago
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    Do your own revising like the rest of us you lazy ****

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