Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 years ago

Whats a good penance for cheating?

My daughter passed away a little over 7 months ago and since then i have been making horrible mistakes. I ended up cheating on my fiancee and he found out. He told me i have to come up with a good penance but i cant come up with anything good enough. I feel terrible and have apologized many times for it but its not enough. Any ideas?

Update:

were already in counseling, doesn't seem to be working

8 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If the counseling isn't working, then go your separate ways and don't make the same stupid mistake with anyone in the future...there is no deed or act you can perform that will make what you did go away or easier to bear...

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    My wife had a fling about 6 months after her father died and she was in no place to deal with my complaints. Cheating is a huge deal but not compared to the loss of a child or parent. I put that business aside for a time while she grieved and then we went into counseling to work on our issues. I think it might be too soon for you to deal with this stuff now since you lost your daughter. You must deal with it at some point, but now is going to be very hard for you to handle it most likely. Sorry for your loss and I wish you good luck.

  • 8 years ago

    Understandably, you had a very traumatic event in your life...and sometimes we reach out to people or things that are not ideally the right choice. Some people use drugs or alcohol to get thru trauma...you had a affair when you could just have reached out to your fiancee . There are so many reasons why people make bad choices, affairs are not mistakes they are very bad choices that can ruin relationships , and hurt so many people. You talk to your financee about going to counselling and show him you can make positive choices from now on. You cant expect him to instantly want to forgive you , you have to give him reason to forgive you. Work on yourself , move forward, and try a new approach to your relationship.

  • 8 years ago

    There aint no penance for cheating, the dirty deed is done and it will linger with you for the rest of your life. Trust is a hard thing to regain if you can regain it at all. You will pay the price in your future.

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  • 8 years ago

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    By holding this over your head he is controlling the relationship which gives him power over you. His option should be to accept the apology and move on in a relationship with you or break the relationship. You have to have strength to say, look, I've apologized. Let's move on. If he can't accept it, you have to let him go.

    I think deep down you know where this relationship should go. Do you really want to keep him? Do you really need him? Is he good for you?

  • Ana
    Lv 5
    8 years ago

    Good penance for cheating is your own conscience.

    I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did something like that.

    I'm sorry about your daughter.

  • I think you should seek councilling, your going through a rough trap.

  • Erika
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Wow that's hard but it must be hard on him too

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