I don't fit in anywhere?

I'm 16 and gay. Most people in my school only see me as an accessory, tool, or monster. Girls like to show me around as their gay best friend which I hate. It isn't real friendship hell they probably would hate me if I wasn't gay. Straight guys only want to be friends with me to get with the girls I talk to. And religious people act like I'm a monster and need to be avoided. I have three real friends but even among them I'm the misfit of the group. They're all girls and are much closer with each other than with me. And I've never been good at anything so I can't find any group to fit in with. I'm not nice enough to fit in with super nice people, mean enough to fit in with super mean people, I'm not good at sports, and I don't have any great musical talents or academic interests. I just feel so out of place no matter where I go. I've never been anybody's number one and nobody's ever had a crush on me. Everybody knows me because I'm the only gay guy at school that isn't really creepy but that isn't exactly the greatest thing to be known for. Even my parents have two other kids and they probably like them better anyway. They're normal. They can have kids and fit in with our normal Christian family. But then there's me. Who doesn't fit in anywhere. It feels like I'm some deformed puzzle piece and no matter how hard I try to fit in there's just no room for me anywhere. I don't know what to do. I want to belong somewhere. I want at least one person to chose me over everybody else. Is there something wrong with that? Why can't there just be one person that would want me as much as I want them? Does everybody go through this? Is it just a part of being a gay teen in a small town?

7 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I understand what you are going through, but who said you can't have a normal life! Those people are ignoramus don't let them get to you. Here check this out : (these people struggled to you know)


    and them go here: http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Hi Ricky. Being 16 and gay can be really exciting, or it can be the pits. One of the reasons you feel like you do might be down to puberty, because you are likely smack in the middle of it and your body and mind can be in constant conflict as you develop into manhood. Lots of guys go through what you are going through but being gay just makes you much more aware of it.

    I know you need to fit in somewhere, but I think you already do in the eyes of others. This is because we all have perceptions about ourselves and what others think about us, but in most cases those perceptions are way off the mark and we only feel like we do because we instinctively don't feel the connection. Your analagy about a piece of jigsaw is a good one to demonstrate how you feel, but it also suggests that you have a low opinion of yourself. You call yourself a misfit, no good at anything and you don't fit in. For you that is real, but it is all negative and I believe there are loads of positives things about you which you have not mentioned.

    So Ricky, as an experienced gay guy I recommend that you work on your self esteem and confidence. I don't intend to patronise you, but I felt just like you when I was younger. I learnt to fit in where I was comfortable, but to this day my beliefs and views on right and wrong remain at odds with mainstream thinking and although I know lots of people, I'm still a puzzle to some folk. I was no oil painting either, but I eventually had boyfriends and relationships. For you, it will get better but you can speed that along by valueing the guy that you are. When people see and sense that you are confident and have your own mind, some will find that endearing and interesting. Search online for self esteem and confidence for lots of self help advice.

    And Ricky, how do you know that no one has ever had a crush on you? You don't, because 99% of crushers never have the guts to tell. Time is on your side and the world is still your oyster!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    I've gone through that all my life and now, i don't give a fnck about it...I'm 20 and i'm ok now that i know the "problem" (It isn't really a problem to me)

    When i was a child i had a friend, or so it seemed, she said that i was her best friend and i got jealous when she passed the day with another friends she had; i thought she was my best friend, too, but naaah! not really, it was just that we were child( we were around 7, 8, i don't know!) when you're grown it's when you know what is really a best friend or at least a friend, now i can say that i haven't had a best friend ever, not a friend; almost everybody hates me for who i am and i'm just real, i don't hide anything, i say what i please, i do what i please, and people aren't agree with me ever, they hate the way i am; i'm transparent, but for some reason they can't see through me, it's not my fault, i don't fit in anywhere, not every group, because i'm extra-different and they can't get it, they too ignoramus to understand it, so, i know i haven't a problem, nothing is wrong with me, i have no problem, they have a problem with me, with they way i am, not me, i haven't change anything, i'm ok, i keep it real. i love myself and i love i don't fit in those people full of ignorance, sh!tty people, i'm ok alone.

    Btw--->I'm Homosexual/Lesbian/Butch, Hip Hopper-Gothic, free like the air, realist, i don't beleive god exists, i say, fnck religion, fnck rules, fnck world (Hehe!) So on...Just something mine and weird that i love :D...

    Probabily you don't have a problem, it's just they're ignoramus, you shouldn't try to fit in, it comes naturally, if you don't fit in anywhere, maybe it's the best and it's not because you're Gay, forget about that, being Homosexual doesn't make you worse or better person, but it's truth, people can't understand it, but you just be yourself...Be real! Be free! Be unique! Be alone!

    Uh! And WE ARE NORMAL PEOPLE...W.A.W.--->We Are Well.

    Source(s): .....____________________ , ,__ ....../ `---___________----_____|] ...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/ .....), ---.(_(__) / ....// (..) ), ----" ...//___// ..//___// .//___// (҂`_´) < ,︻╦̵̵̿╤─ ҉ ~~~ • • • BRRRANGADAN (Ak-47) \ \ ,/ ﹋╯. ..!!!! Killa o’ Mothafuckaz
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Wal-Mart it really is were i have been given 2 of them LOL get all the shops like Wal-Mart about perhaps a 30 min. away and phone them on a daily basis and nicely some circumstances you get fortunate the second one wii in fantastic condition i have been given they instructed me that did have one after I called Wal-Mart yet i had to p.c.. up something so i went there about 2 hours later and enhance they were there and not in any respect for lengthy so good success

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  • 8 years ago

    People are shitty especially when you're gay.

    Read this book called "It Gets Better" it's really good an it has many stories from lgbt celeberties/successful people/normal people from when they were struggling. It really helped me hopefully it'll help you too!

  • 8 years ago

    Why do you feel the need to fit in somewhere. Like we all gotta be ina spot. Im me, myself and I ( and well the ppl I care about) and you should be too. Who cares bout everyone else. Juss be you with confidence, and do YOU.

    Source(s): lesbian
  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Omg :,)

    You just discribed my life.

    There is nothing wrong with you, you seen like a good person, baby you were born that way c; -lady gaga

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