Jake asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 8 years ago

Does this poem make sense to you?

Some might think it's weird how I keep my poems extremely vague. But that is how I like it so that many can perceive it in many different ways, and more can relate not just me.

Sometimes it falls, sometimes it flows

Down and on the city below

It dampens my hair

It dampens my soul

At least it doesn’t dampen my load

Mind to mind, heart to heart

It all has a meaning

It all has it’s part.

But why does the rain, for a time of cold

Decide all the sudden to turn into snow?

Update:

well.....I meant in no way for this to be about love or pervyness. but it can be if you want it to. I meant it to be about outside factors that effect life and that simple things have a meaning. although those meanings differ from people and some don't see any meaning at all. But it is interesting to see how you interpreted it, even though you interpreted it as pervy haha.

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  • 8 years ago
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    As `it` did not dampen your load

    I assumed for a moment that you are writing of fog.......

    then sleet, either metaphoric or actual.

    I think that in this one, the double-spacing

    is too abstracting adding to its` intended nebulousness

    just a tweak too much?

    A more desirable pithy impact might be had w-o sacrificing imaginativeness

    by using single-space for this one IMHO.

    :) intriguing....!

  • 8 years ago

    You lost me in the middle and in the begging it sounds like love but then it sounds like your a perv because ur like it dosnt dampen my load so it sounds like your still turned on even when she insulted u?

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