Do You Agree With My Parents? Please Help Me Advice?
About a year ago I moved back into my parents house and quit college (I had been going for 3 years). I stopped because I wasn't happy and I wanted to think more about what to do. I also always had money problems.
Now I am 23 and have been living with my mom and step-dad for about a year. They want me to start paying rent. I really can't believe it, I mean I feel like I have no family. Before today I would never dream of charging my parents rent if they wanted to live with me in the future. Since my parents have no retirement that day will most likely come to.
I feel really distant with my parents, I feel like a step child (well I am) and that I'm always walking on egg shells. I feel like I'm constantly at their mercy. If there is something I don't agree with (even when I right) I just bite my tongue, out of fear of being kicked out. I hated growing up here and I was always punished for stupid ****. I spent a lot of time being grounded in my room. I think this affected me negatively psychologically, as I am a very reserved and very socially awkward.
I want to get back in college and study something new (this may take 2-3 more years for me to graduate) and be independent. I feel so trapped because I have no transportation right now (but that should change soon).
Right now I am lost in life and really need some advice. If I'm wrong in my thinking let me know, maybe you can see something in my situation that I can't and maybe you have a good solution to my situation.
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
hi. i read your whole situation and i know what u feel like, its like u feel like u don't really belong to the family cuz they do unbelievable stuff that u don't ever believe they would do.
Don't worry about it 2 much cuz worrying never helps, though i still do it, and instead try and talk to them, preferably one at a time, as both of them at the same time can be alarming, and try to develop a more intimate relationship wiv your parents, this is very important. Though this sounds like im just trying to get you pissed that im 'lecturing' or something, im just sayin' what i believe u should do. Btw i know how nerve-racking it can be.
Btw, i don't think your parents should treat you like this. A grown adult of 23 should not be at the mercy of others, and still getting grounded in your room! this is ruining 2 the self-esteem! unless u are a rebellious child in someway, i don't think they should treat u like a normal tenant, i mean u r their family and you hav your own problems in your life.
u shouldn't hav really quit college, i mean u r quite smart even to get in, and in your future it will influence you and shape your path of life. u may feel i don't understand but u probably quit from social problems and peers, or overload of work or bad influences. i hope u will some day go back. Don't worry about being socially awkward, i shouldn't say this to strangers, but i used to b a bit awkward too wiv nothin' to say, especially to the opposite sex.
But i think y your parents feel like their should charge u rent is because of their own reasons, maybe a financial difficulty or something. mayb they're selfish. i don't know. But what i do know is that im not the judge of you or your parents or anyone else cuz its your life to decide...
plz think rationally about your future and your actions, unlike most of the people today in the world who follow other people's ****.
God bless you.
btw, i don't know whether u are a guy/girl but it really doesn't make a difference to me, im only answering u in the hopes i can help u in your situation. i spent lots of time writing this 4 u. :)Source(s): my heart and my feelings 4 u
- 4 years ago
First of all, you have to realise she is a grandmother nothing you are going to ever do is right in comparison with her even though you spanked as she suggest. Then she would complained about that you are too harsh. So i'd speak to her very calmly, sweetly, and firmly when the children aren't round that you respect her help and respect her advice, however that is your option. That you're a mother now and want her to admire that. I'd inform her that you love your youngsters and that each one that issues and to thrill admire that given that you are not going to change your ways as she didn’t change hers. And that it's fundamental that she be on the identical web page and a united entrance when you are disciplining the children as their Grandmother.
- 8 years ago
Well, I can totally relate to you about being very distant with your family. I am the oldest of seven and my oldest younger sibling is 6 and I am 14. My mom got remarried too so I know what it feels like to feel the way you do, especially about being some how always being wrong when I am usually right. I think that since they are housing you that maybe you should pay a little rent. Not all of it. But just some. Go back to college if you want to an can afford it. Try to also become closer with your parents. I found that if you try to find something to relate with them on then you can tart a conversation pretty quickly even if your socially awkward like you and me. Just make sure you think about your decisions carefully before you make them, go over them in your head a few times (even work them out on paper if you have too.). Do what you think would be best overall.
- pissy_old_ladyLv 78 years ago
I think you feel you are enttitled to a free ride. I think your parents are trying to get you to grow up mentally and pay your way in the world like everyone else. This is a reality check. They have raised you and you chose to quit and move back home....if you had to rent your own place buy food pay utilities and transportation i am sure it would cost you more than what they are asking for....thank them pay them and show some appreciation.
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- SLoW PoKeLv 48 years ago
I think your parents are using the threat of having you pay rent as a motivational tool to start doing something with your life. This is their way of lighting a fire underneath you and it looks like its starting to work. You should definitely finish college. Make that priority number one. If you enroll back in, your parents will definitely be more likely to ease up on the rent talk. But until you start showing them something, this might be their last resort to try and get you to do something with your life. It sounds like you're in a stand still.
I would also try and move on from the past. What'd done is done and you can't do a thing to change it. What you can do is get yourself goin' and start to better yourself. Get that degree because that will open so many more doors. And you might regret down the line where it'll be impossible to go back and finish.
I'd have a talk with your parents and lay out your plan. They'll be impressed and they'll be willing to help you. And don't let not having a car stop. Ride the bus, carpool, bike it, anything. Don't let that minor problem stop you from progressing in life.Source(s): Moved back in my parents after college and was in a stand still for about 2 yrs. Finally got a job and moved out. Couldn't be happier.