Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 years ago

Almost 21 and never been in a relationship?

I'm almost 21, I've never been in a relationship, the last I kissed a girl was when I was 17, since then I've never been with a girl, I've never had sex before, never been on a date I've practically done nothing. it gets to me because everyone around my age have a social life and are doing things, I know it's not good to compare but I'm gettin sick of the way i'm living, its ruining me and it makes me feel that the older I get I still won't get with a girl. I really want to be in a relationship and no I don't care about just sex, I just really hate feeling lonely, I want a girlfriend so badly, I'm not ugly, I've got a great personality but I just don't understand why I can't get with a girl and it's really getting to me :( . it's actually making me become a shy person who's afraid to experience new things, I'm always to myself, I don't think I even know how to speak to a girl anymore, I don't club or smoke, I hardly even drink. I just don't know how to find a girl or what to do, I'm sick of being patient... please don't comment by saying I should wait longer or good things come to people who wait, I'm sick and tired of hearing that, I'm lost and confused

8 Answers

  • :)
    Lv 5
    8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sounds like you just need to get out and meet more women instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself.

  • 8 years ago

    When you finally want it bad enough you will find it. Enough frustration with your life and you will change it. As far as what you should change, try anything new. Don't go be someone your not cause that will just end badly. you may want to redefine yourself and who you think you are. Take chances and be ok with failure, just don't get used to it.

  • 8 years ago

    Go get yourself out there. It's not like girls are some sort of mythical beings. They are people. Go join some clubs or take some classes. Talk to them. Ask for their numbers or connect through Facebook. Also, it doesn't hurt to improve yourself. While you're looking for a girl get into touch with yourself so you don't feel so shy. Maybe work out. Learn a new language. A new instrument. Do SOMETHING that isn't just moping around. Those that have passion and drive in their lives are attractive.

  • 8 years ago

    same here.. 6 billion people in the world... and I'm single. :|

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  • 8 years ago

    no dont wait. u waited long enough. so did i. im 19 though and never did anything. u should go to the bar or something. because people that wait long because they have to, theyre the ones thats best not to have a girlfriend. for you waited a long time and now u want a girlfriend. i dont thnk that would work. cuz u have no experience about it at all. you should do things like play sports, do what you like and keep going in life, while thats in place, MANY girls will come to you. sorry to say but ppl that wait like me and you arent cut out for girlfriends because girlfriends are supposed to be an emotional thing with one another. so u should experience firs before u get a gf. go to the bar, have sex. or just meet a girl, talk to her and go on a date. stare at a random hot girl on the streets, smile at her and go talk to her. get her number, take her out, and if she doesnt wanna have sex, then ok cool. Its hard to explain what im trying to say. ppl with no or little experience with relationships, girls and sex shouldnt be in a relationship. aspecially when they wait a long time while doing things, cuz then they adapt to not having it and so in return they want an emotional relationship. you should date girls first, if u want have sex...then its cool to say that u can have a gf. i gaurantee that if u take my advice, that cravings for gf, the cravings for an emotional lovey dovey relationship will be gone. no relationship is magical. if u want a gf so bad u shoulda get one wen u were still in HS. so keep doing things, like play sports, hang out with friends to AVOID this topic. if u worry about this, watch tv. go out, get a job, get some friends..keep doing you. in the mean time girls and these opportunities wil come to u.

  • 8 years ago

    I can relate so much to you! Although I have had 3 boyfriends, I've never had sex, don't drink or go clubbing. I also have become more shy because of not being approached by a guy. Like you, I also don't consider myself bad looking, but I'm not the type of girl to approach a guy or start the conversation... I still wait for the guy to talk to me first. Maybe if the girls that are interested in you, are like me, then you not approaching them will not help your situation (or mine lol).

  • 8 years ago


    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just put yourself out there. Be outgoing. Step out of your comfort zone. Look for girls who have the same interests that you do. Be proactive. Ask a girl out. Don't get too upset when you run into NO's because it will happen. If you want something, sometimes YOU have to make it happen.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Well if you aren't ugly and you have a good personality stop being shy approach a female and just be yourself. And try not to just focus on one girl keep your variety open and keep trying. The more shy you are the less chance you have of actually getting a female a closed mouth does not get fed.

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