Not feeling accepted around girls...?
Okay, I've been able to get out and being able to spend more time with my friends. My shyness and fears have gone by a lot especially the shyness. I still don't really have any normal social skills, so it like when I was in elementry school before I using being shy as a barrier from being reject(I'm guessing). So it's going been going down lately(Mostly through listening to a lot of pure grace messages about God), but I guess the confidence it's going up. I'm still basically acting like I was when I was little kid, only instead of making weird noises all the time, I'm just making perverted jokes(Though my friends are doing it too, but I just tend to not know when to stop), but I really don't know how to express myself to other people that well when talk gets more serious(Though in my own head, I'm probably as good or better than others in expressing my self.) I don't know maybe it's a fear of being wrong or something, or being rejected. So basically do the pervered type jokes to get noticed, or I'll just be the random creepy silent person that laughs at everything.
Anyways, basically I feeling like I'm being more of pain to my friends than anything else(Well the guys know me well enough that isn't much of a problem). But the girl in the group, I really don't feel close to at alll(This mostly where I'm depressed, and I'm not even looking at her as a potentional girlfriend/wife.) Even tonight when we were hanging and started to go, she gave me a hug, but it was one the extreme side hugs where it's just doing it to get me to leave her alone or something. I mean it like we're fine when were playing Magic and having fun, but I'm still not really feeling accepted with her.