HORRIBLE Thanksgiving nightmare! What is the meaning behind it?!?
I had a terrible dream, one so awful that I get chills just relating it here:
I dreamed that Meds invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner, and I was so pleased to get invited somewhere--when your claim to fame is "most shirtless trailer park appearances on COPS", you don't get invited too many places. Anyway, I was really looking forward to a good old fashioned Thanksgiving, filled with good food, football, and lots and lots of beer.
In the dream, I arrive at Meds's place, and I have a little trouble finding his family's bungalow in the commune. I ask this man sitting up against a tree and wearing a Navajo blanket while staring out into space where Meds is, and he turns his glazed eyes to me and answers, "Where are ANY of us, man? It's all one big universe, and if you want to know where you're going, just turn around and see where you BEEN. Feed your head, dude, feed your head."
I back slowly away from him and bump into Meds, who was coming in from the communal vegetable garden. "Jack!", Meds says, "I am SO GLAD to see you! I was just depositing some night soil on the turnip crop and I saw you over here talking to Space Hog. Isn't he DEEP? Follow me, my hogan is just over here." Relieved to see Meds, but feeling slightly uneasy after talking with his friend, I follow with a little trepidation.
Inside the hogan, however, it is all family and warmth, as Meds introduces me to his kids, Che, Lenin, and Ho Chi Minnie, and his wife, Sunbeam Revolution. After watching Meds cleanse the dwelling with burning sage, I help him roll out the tatami mats on the earthen floor, and we gather on homemade pillows around the low table. Three men silently join from the other room, and Meds leans over and whispers to me, "Don't speak to the elders; they will share their visions with us. Especially don't speak to the burly guy on the left. That's Nuclear Uterine, our clan's Lesbian earth mother. She selects a white male every year to symbolically castrate, and you don't want to draw attention to yourself." Feeling rather nervous now, I keep quiet and try to blend into the furniture.
Sunbeam Revolution comes in, carrying a big platter of turkey, and I'm so excited that I burst out, "I want white meat!" A shocked gasp fills the air, and I freeze, realizing everyone is staring at me. Nuclear Uterine glares at me and sneers, "Oh, you want WHITE meat, huh? We DON'T eat MEAT, and if we did, its color would make no difference to us! I see we have a FASCIST joining us for this shame holiday!"
I look over, puzzled, at Meds, and he explains, "Jack, we use Thanksgiving to lament what the imperialist European invaders did to the peace-loving Native Americans, and we don't eat turkey, we eat tofurky. Just try it, you'll love it!" I watch glumly then as Meds carves slices of tofurkey with seaweed-and-quinoa stuffing and passes it around. There is no beer, just Tibetan barley tea. Before we eat, everyone at the table expresses their shame at being Americans, and those of European background accept the curses of the others on behalf of their ancestors. After Meds solemnly curses me, and delivers a lengthy diatribe explaining how my ancestors inbred with each other, I pipe up, "But Meds, you're white!" The stinging backhand to my face rattles me, and Meds explains, "Actually, I am one-eighth Chippewa on my step-mother's side, tracing descent from her father's second wife's brother-in-law, so I do not have a heritage of imperialist European oppression like YOU. Oh, and for calling me *white* you don't get any tofurkey." That's the only bright spot in the entire meal.
After dinner, everyone adjourns to the living room and gathers around the television, while Sunbeam Revolution powers the generator from a ten-speed bicycle, and we watch the soccer game. Before I leave, I am symbolically castrated by having Nuclear Uterine grab my crotch in her burly right hand while crushing two walnuts in her jaws. I'm too petrified to move as the ritual is completed with me being baptized in Massengill after my chest is shaved and I'm given a new name, Nancy Femina. I get to go home with the chest hair placed, with the crushed walnuts, in a hempen bag.
This dream is tormenting me! I have never feared Thanksgiving before, but now I'm terrified of it! What can be the possible meaning, and how do I keep it from ever coming to pass????
I dreamed about a tornado once. Judy Garland was holding me down with a crazed look in her eyes, while one approached. She laughed maniacally and said, "It will all be over soon and you'll be in the land of Oz! And when I say "Oz", I mean that prison, where your butt will be banged day and night, and I don't mean by some munchkins! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
I guess that dream has sexual connotations, too. ;)
((((((((Olga, God's Good Witch))))))))
P.S. I've tried to get these details to post several times now--watch, Yahoo will all of a sudden post them multiple times. I HATE the glitches on here!
I have to be careful when I "dance with myself"...it got me banned from Thanksgiving ever again at our minister's house. ;) Happy Thanksgiving, Meds!
- Anonymous7 years agoBest Answer
Well you're still welcome to come to the cooperative. But for the record you forgot to mention that Sunbeam's (world famous) Quinoa-seaweed stuffing prominently features fair-trade organic cashews from Brazil.
And wasn't your new name "Dances With Self?"
Awesome writing as always dude!Source(s): (((Jack)))
- 7 years ago
Lol, you had me at "Nuclear Uterine". Is it possible to assign BA to a question?
Your problem Jack is that you live in the tree-hugging, tofu-munching liberal paradise of California. You ought to move up here to Idaho, where (no joking) there is currently a proposition on the ballot to amend the constitution to state how important huntin' and fishin' are to the state.
On an unrelated note, does anyone know the process to get one of your contacts court-ordered to write a novel?
- Anonymous7 years ago
My psychic abilities, though limited, tell me
your dream means the following...
Our beloved Meds represents love gone bad;
his denial of your tofurkey represents that
which you might have wanted, but didn't know
you wanted from said love/relationship gone
bad; Nuclear Uterine is obviously a Lesbomatic
alter-ego pushing her vitality and innermost
desires to their sublimity; the chest hair and
crushed walnuts in the hempen bag might be
best left without comment.
My advice: come have Thanksgiving with me!
- Anonymous7 years ago
after meditating long and hard on this premonition of yours over half a bowl of special native american incense the great bear spirit told me that to prevent this you must make a ritual sacrifice of burnt barley and live for the next three days in the wilderness eating only nuts and berries and organic coffee that you collect yourself or buy from your local farmers market in order to repent for the wrongdoings of your ancestors then when you return you must build your own hogan with your bare hands and plant crops of corn and wheat do not use slave animals to help you with this like the white people do and for fertilizer you must collect your own dung you also may use dead fish but only if they are already dead when you find them and if you do you must first pray to the earth mother and give thanks for the great cycle of life allowing you to grow your crops in this manner do not harm nature in any way during any part of this process oh and also if you ever feel compelled to partake in the ridiculous oppressive capitalist tradition of voting make sure to vote for the green party they are the only ones that can truly make our voices heardSource(s): also watch out for coyote the trickster i sense that he will try to deceive you and lead you astray more than once this month for example if someone offers you a beer you must not accept it just remember how many innocent squirrels and sparrows lost their homes so that beer could be made and canned for the wasteful imperialist slobs
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- PROBLEMLv 77 years ago
Hey, that isn't scary. I dreamt I was in a trailer park caught between waring bikers. All I had was a blood spattered nine iron.. Now that was a scary dream. My suggestion is you don't go to hogans, I will stay out of trailer parks.
- veekayLv 67 years ago
"That's Nuclear Uterine, our clan's Lesbian earth mother." The HBIC.. She beat me up two days ago.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Have you been tucking into Walmarts Extra Mature Cheddar with blueberries and peyote before bedtime?
- Anonymous7 years ago
Yew naive Nancy boy nincumtwat! Did you not realise what you were getting into when they served the foam packed tofurky? It was clearly a trap to get yew to straperdicktoher.
- BearLv 77 years ago
Tofu? Some bad sh*t you've taken!
Or are you trapped in an ethereal Frank Zappa head?
- Toke LoverLv 77 years ago
You spend way too much time online reading the rants & whines from various corners....
And you have a crush on teh dude in teh pink dress.....no worries, yer in good company.